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elf lvr
Posted: Sun Sep 23, 2007 12:21 am
Joined: 13 Jun 2006 Posts: 3065 Location: Rivendell
Allrighhhhhty here. Guess Iíll start with the basic background info since I donít have an overly inventive way to present it! Very Happy

World: Akaneia
Plane: Tellius
Story: Alrighty. Tellius is a plane that was created as a sort of "safe haven" by the planeswalker Elibe around the time of the rifts. Elibe wished to protect herself and select groups of beings from the ravages of the planar rifts, so she created Tellius and forcibly separated it from the rest of Dominia. This worked reasonably well, until the planeswalker dissapeared under unknown circumstances (oddly enough, around the same time OTHER planeswalkers were mending the other rifts). Elibeís spell held up well enough, still, except for one moment when one small rift opened up. It was very small, and only lasted a few seconds, but it allowed 5 beings from other planes and times to fall into the plane of Tellius.

Now, up till this point, the many races and peoples Elibe chose to inhabit this plane had been living as peacefully as was possible, all united in one government called the Grand Council. This council included representatives from each race and ruled pretty fairly.

Now, however, the five beings that came in from the other dimensions changed all this. In their times and worlds, they had all been powerful warriors, or politicians, or dictators, and they each wanted total rule of this new world. So they slowly corrupted the different leaders of the council and eventually caused it to split up into 6 warring fractions. The great city, Magvel, that had once held the Grand council was torn apart by battles and is now a ruin inhabited by the rebel fraction that still opposes those five powers. Each of the other fractions migrated to the corners of the world and set up their own dominions, and are now all trying to wrest control from one another.

Passable storyline?

Divisions and the Suchlike:
Purists: The Rebel group that remains loyal to the idea of one government and the grand council. You wonít see many multicolored cards here, but many cards from each individual color. Most will share the Rebel creature type, but beyond that theyíll go from Goblin Rebels to Human Rebles to Elf Rebels. Theyíre the guys who still inhabit the ruins of Magvel.

Akatsuki White/Black: Name translates as "Daybreak." This group is led by a great warrior from the past. These colors will see a rebirth of stuff like Ninjutsu and Bushido. They occupy a small island and the western coast of Akaneia. The island is named Valor, the capital city is called Begnion.

Daein Red/White: Daein is a kingdom ruled by the old King Hartumut. However, he weilds little political power, the country is mostly ruled by the Marquess Zephiel, one of the Five beings that took up residence in Akaneia. They hold the largest portion of Akaneia and are a major military power. Expect to see a lot of Soldiers and Goblins in here. The capital city is called Pharae.

Sasorites Blue/Black: This group takes their name from their leader; Sasori. He is an artificer of great skill, and has developed an art of transforming living beings into puppets. He has even gone as far as to make himself mostly into a puppet. His followers seek to shed as much of their mortal selves as possible in a search for enlightenment. They inhabit the southern end of Akaneia, which up to the coastline is mostly desert. Expect to see a lot of Thrulls and Artifact Creatures in here.

Etruria Green/Blue: Etruria is a small country populated by mostly magicians and ruled by the Archsage Ephidel. It it located in the north-west. They have established a small magicianís academy there, named Minamos (after Minamo, of which Ephidel was a student). Though not a military power, they have the greatest control over mana and can even seem to steal mana power from the other countries. Expect to see wizards and elves aplenty.

Sacae Red/Green: Sacae is second-largest in size of the five countries. Their land is placed inbetween the other four, and so they are in constant danger. However, the land is covered by dense forests and nearly unpassable mountains, and so is diffucult to invade. Sacae is ruled by the warrior-king Desmond (one of the five creatures that came through the rift). Desmond oversees a relatively small amount of humans; his "subjects" are mostly goblins, wyrms, dryads, and elementals. Within this kingdom is the old ruin of Magvel.

Well, thatís really all Iíve got, let me know if itís satisfactory, needs changes, or if you want me to make up more details. Iím sure more will come out in the flavor text of the DCís.

Itís past 1:00 right now, so I canít do much more, but I canít start a DC set without *some* DCís, I suppose, so hereís one to tide you over:

Burning Valkyrie 3Red
Creature - Pegasus Soldier
First Strike.
When you play Burning Valkyrie, if White was spent to play it, it has flying.
Pegasi are normally beautiful, benevolent creatures. This, however, seems to fade once set on fire.
2/3
C
Last edited by elf lvr on Mon Sep 24, 2007 8:47 pm; edited 2 times in totalHappy Hunting! Elf Lvr
Winner of Best Personality in the FPCA. Thanks!
Archduke Elf Lvr - Archidoux of the Chosen Ones
AMV Maker In-Training! Check out my newest production, Katsu!- A Diedara Tribute!
And behold, EL declared it good. And there was morning, and there was evening, the first (new) day. ~ DainIronfoot
Felipe Musco
Posted: Sun Sep 23, 2007 9:05 am
Joined: 18 May 2006 Posts: 2434 Location: Florianůpolis, SC, Brasil
It has flying. It gains implies that itíll lose it sometime, or can lose it, but flying in this caseis a static ability, thus "it has flying" works better. Also, Iíd drop the twilight symbols and go with straight numbers, itís weird to see a MtGcard with the big black ball in itís number... And last, Iíd go and assign rarity to stuff.
Btw, liked the story a fair bit, youíre way better at this stuff than I am. Laughing
I don't like YOU.
elf lvr
Posted: Sun Sep 23, 2007 12:35 pm
Joined: 13 Jun 2006 Posts: 3065 Location: Rivendell
Felipe Musco wrote:
It has flying. It gains implies that itíll lose it sometime, or can lose it, but flying in this caseis a static ability, thus "it has flying" works better. Also, Iíd drop the twilight symbols and go with straight numbers, itís weird to see a MtGcard with the big black ball in itís number... And last, Iíd go and assign rarity to stuff.
Btw, liked the story a fair bit, youíre way better at this stuff than I am. Laughing


Alright. I had it at "has" at first but thought that sounded strange... although everything sounds strange at 1 A.M.

Iíll add rarity and change the symbols.

Well, Iím glad to hear the story wasnít bland or terrible. Donít tell anyone, but I stole a little bit from other stuff.
Happy Hunting! Elf Lvr
Winner of Best Personality in the FPCA. Thanks!
Archduke Elf Lvr - Archidoux of the Chosen Ones
AMV Maker In-Training! Check out my newest production, Katsu!- A Diedara Tribute!
And behold, EL declared it good. And there was morning, and there was evening, the first (new) day. ~ DainIronfoot
elf lvr
Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2007 8:58 pm
Joined: 13 Jun 2006 Posts: 3065 Location: Rivendell
Again making DCís when I ought to be sleeping. Oh, well. Maybe Iíll add more in the morning.

Wyvern Captain 2Red/WhiteRed/White
Creature - Human Soldier
Flying.
Each white creature with flying is +1/+0.
Each equipped green creature is +0/+1.
You donít want to be the one to report bad news to the captain. He might just let his wyvern satisfy its hunger for human flesh.
2/3
R

Forestfire Wyvern 3Red
Equipment Creature - Wyvern
Flying. Echo - 1Red
When Plainsburner Wyvern comes into or leaves play, you may destroy target plains.
2: Forestfire Wyvern becomes an artifact and equips target creature. Equipped creature is +1/+1 and has flying.
The wyvern armies burned everything in sight.
2/2
Last edited by elf lvr on Wed Sep 26, 2007 3:39 pm; edited 5 times in totalHappy Hunting! Elf Lvr
Winner of Best Personality in the FPCA. Thanks!
Archduke Elf Lvr - Archidoux of the Chosen Ones
AMV Maker In-Training! Check out my newest production, Katsu!- A Diedara Tribute!
And behold, EL declared it good. And there was morning, and there was evening, the first (new) day. ~ DainIronfoot
Felipe Musco
Posted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 11:06 am
Joined: 18 May 2006 Posts: 2434 Location: Florianůpolis, SC, Brasil
elf lvr wrote:
Again making DCís when I ought to be sleeping. Oh, well. Maybe Iíll add more in the morning.

Wyvern Captain 2Red/GreenRed/Green
Creature - Human Soldier
Flying.
Each Red creature with flying is +1/+0.
Each Green creature equipped with an equipment is +0/+1.
You donít want to be the one to report bad news to the captain. He might just let his wyvern satisfy its hunger for human flesh.
2/3
R

Cool, but unless your set IS about messing with the color pie, you might want to watch out for some stuff, since green gets very little fliers (usually relying on spiders, archers and other creatures with reach to stop them), as does red, and their fliers are usually expensive, or have some drawback. So, for a "regular" color pie, this is WAAAY off, way too good in Limited. Then again, it IS a rare, so itís not completely unbalanced, just donít overdo color bleeding, or everything becomes a huge mess later. Wink
Now, for general tips, creatures can only be equipped with equipments, so youíd better just phrase it "each equipped ____ creature..." and next, comes the reason I wrote ____ in my example. Creature colors are always referred to as words, so itís either red, green, black, blue, white, colorless, multicolored, monocolored, or a combination of colors, but always in words (donít really now why, though, but theres probably a good reason).


Okay, and now itís the morning and Iíll add more DCís. The Wyvern Corps are one of Sacaeís only human units, but one of the most fearsome.

Anyways, hereís a card thatís sure to need a few changes, but Iíll try and do it anyway...

Wyvern Mount RedGreen
Wyvern Creature - Equipment
Flying.
Equipped creature is +1/+1 and has flying.
Equip - 2
You didnít have to be a good fighter to be a wyvern rider. You just have to know how to hold on.
1/1

Plainsburner Wyvern 3Red
Wyvern Creature - Equipment
Flying. Echo - 1Red
When Plainsburner Wyvern comes into or leaves play, destroy target plains.
Equipped creature is +1/+1 and has flying.
Equip - 2
The wyvern armies burned everything in sight.
2/2

These look a lot like banding, so Iíd watch out, as itís one of the greatest flaws in MtGís history. The idea behind this should either be an artifact or an aura that becomes a creature, or vice versa, under some circunstances. Iíll stop here for now, and then after you try to work it out I can analyze the cards again. You CAN have colored artifacts (see Transguild Courier, or even Sarcomyte Myr for a tighter example), but remember, equipments are supposed to be stuff they carry/equip/use, etc, so they SHOULD be artifacts (although you CAN make, as I said, a colored artifact creature, etc...)

I don't like YOU.
elf lvr
Posted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 3:29 pm
Joined: 13 Jun 2006 Posts: 3065 Location: Rivendell
Felipe Musco wrote:
Cool, but unless your set IS about messing with the color pie, you might want to watch out for some stuff, since green gets very little fliers (usually relying on spiders, archers and other creatures with reach to stop them), as does red, and their fliers are usually expensive, or have some drawback. So, for a "regular" color pie, this is WAAAY off, way too good in Limited. Then again, it IS a rare, so itís not completely unbalanced, just donít overdo color bleeding, or everything becomes a huge mess later. Wink
Now, for general tips, creatures can only be equipped with equipments, so youíd better just phrase it "each equipped ____ creature..." and next, comes the reason I wrote ____ in my example. Creature colors are always referred to as words, so itís either red, green, black, blue, white, colorless, multicolored, monocolored, or a combination of colors, but always in words (donít really now why, though, but theres probably a good reason).


Wyvern Captain 2Red/GreenRed/Green
Creature - Human Soldier
Flying.
Each red creature with flying is +1/+0.
Each equipped green creature is +0/+1.
You donít want to be the one to report bad news to the captain. He might just let his wyvern satisfy its hunger for human flesh.
2/3
R

Look better now?

Oh, and let me know if I screw with the color pie too much. I have ideas for where Iím going with each color (maybe it would be better to make these wyvern guys Red/White? Itíd make more sense color-wise, but Green "felt" better to me) and I had to change the colors of some cards Iíve already got planned to keep to MtGís base (for example, the "human puppet" guy was originally red). But yeah, if my inspiration overturns reality, let me know. Thumbs Up

Quote:
These look a lot like banding, so Iíd watch out, as itís one of the greatest flaws in MtGís history. The idea behind this should either be an artifact or an aura that becomes a creature, or vice versa, under some circunstances. Iíll stop here for now, and then after you try to work it out I can analyze the cards again. You CAN have colored artifacts (see Transguild Courier, or even Sarcomyte Myr for a tighter example), but remember, equipments are supposed to be stuff they carry/equip/use, etc, so they SHOULD be artifacts (although you CAN make, as I said, a colored artifact creature, etc...)


Well... Iíd rather that these werenít artifacts. Becuase, well, they ARENíT artifacts. Theyíre mounts. I suppose if they have to be...

But I think this is better than banding was, because the creature does become an enchantment, or artifact, sort of, without actually becoming either of those things. It canít be killed by cards that get rid of enchantments or artifacts, but are destroyed with the creature like equipments are, and can be killed by creature destruciton. It ACTS like an artifact without being one. Why do it then? To be unique. It just fits better.

Anyways, Iíll give you a few more DCís. Feel free to make suggestions on the other cards.

Try and drag Corvus or someone over here too, will ya? Wink

Another equipment creature here.

Fearsome Wyvern 3RedWhite
Equipment Creature - Wyvern
Flying.
2: Fearsome Wyvern becomes an artifact and equips target creature. Equipped creature has flying and first strike.
The wyvern struck out with lethal claws faster than the eye could follow.
3/2
U
Last edited by elf lvr on Wed Sep 26, 2007 3:33 pm; edited 2 times in totalHappy Hunting! Elf Lvr
Winner of Best Personality in the FPCA. Thanks!
Archduke Elf Lvr - Archidoux of the Chosen Ones
AMV Maker In-Training! Check out my newest production, Katsu!- A Diedara Tribute!
And behold, EL declared it good. And there was morning, and there was evening, the first (new) day. ~ DainIronfoot
NBarden
Posted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 4:06 pm
Joined: 28 Dec 2006 Posts: 5468 Location: I don't know...
elf lvr wrote:
Wyvern Captain 2Red/GreenRed/Green
Creature - Human Soldier
Flying.
Each red creature with flying is +1/+0.
Each equipped green creature is +0/+1.
You donít want to be the one to report bad news to the captain. He might just let his wyvern satisfy its hunger for human flesh.
2/3
R

I think that Red/White would be better.

Fearsome Wyvern 3RedGreen
Equipment Creature - Wyvern
Flying.
Equipped creature has flying and first strike.
Equip - 2
The wyvern struck out with lethal claws faster than the eye could follow.
3/2
U

Clarify something here. Does equipping give the creature the stats of this creaure? Or not?

And explain equipping to me. Embarassed


Aaaaand some lands.

Sacaean Badlands
Land
When Sacaean Badlands comes into play, discard a card or it comes into play tapped.
1Tap: Add RedGreen to your mana pool.
U

Nice.

Wyvern Breeding Grounds
Land
Wyvern Breeding Grounds comes into play tapped.
Tap: Add Red to your mana pool.
Wyverncycling - 3
U

Iíd just use a Mountain, personally. I think you can just cut the enters play tapped thing.

Blackened Skies
Land
Blackened Skies comes into play tapped.
Tap: Add 1 to your mana pool.
RedTap: Target wyvern is +1/+1 until the end of the turn.
C

Again, I donít think it needs to enter play tapped.
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As I lay in bed staring at the stars last night, I thought to myself, "where the heck is the ceiling?"
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Felipe Musco
Posted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 4:49 pm
Joined: 18 May 2006 Posts: 2434 Location: Florianůpolis, SC, Brasil
NBarden wrote:
elf lvr wrote:
Wyvern Captain 2Red/GreenRed/Green
Creature - Human Soldier
Flying.
Each red creature with flying is +1/+0.
Each equipped green creature is +0/+1.
You donít want to be the one to report bad news to the captain. He might just let his wyvern satisfy its hunger for human flesh.
2/3
R

I think that Red/White would be better.
Ditto

Fearsome Wyvern 3RedGreen
Equipment Creature - Wyvern
Flying.
Equipped creature has flying and first strike.
Equip - 2
The wyvern struck out with lethal claws faster than the eye could follow.
3/2
U

Clarify something here. Does equipping give the creature the stats of this creaure? Or not?

And explain equipping to me. Embarassed

See? This is what I meant. Also, it can be an artifact creature, thatís also a mount. See why turning into an enchantment works better? Also, banding works almost exactly how your idea does, and itís been tried, and proven to be too confusing and annoying to maintain.


Aaaaand some lands.

Sacaean Badlands
Land
When Sacaean Badlands comes into play, discard a card or it comes into play tapped.
1Tap: Add RedGreen to your mana pool.
U

Nice.
I think itís underpowered. Graven Cairns does not come into play tapped, doesnít cost you a discard (and itís in both colors that luv madness!) AND also taps for colorless mana, in case itís necessary.

Wyvern Breeding Grounds
Land
Wyvern Breeding Grounds comes into play tapped.
Tap: Add Red to your mana pool.
Wyverncycling - 3
U

Iíd just use a Mountain, personally. I think you can just cut the enters play tapped thing.
I, on the other hand, would MOST CERTAINLY use about 3-4 of these in a Wyvern deck! NBarden, when considering if a non-basic land is too powerful, always think about this: would I absolutely run 4 of these in any deck I build? For instance, if a land comes into play untapped, and taps for ANY color of mana without other costs, woudlnít you play it in EVERY deck? Then itís too good. Players should have to make choices when considering lands other than basic ones. Gemstone Mine is great, but lasts too little. City of Brass lasts longer, but damages you. So on, so forth. Now ELís land, OTOH, you WOULD always use IN A WYVERN-DEDICATED DECK, but prolly not a 4-of since itíd slow you down.

Blackened Skies
Land
Blackened Skies comes into play tapped.
Tap: Add 1 to your mana pool.
RedTap: Target wyvern is +1/+1 until the end of the turn.
C

[b]Again, I donít think it needs to enter play tapped.
And now youíre right, after all, it only produces colorless mana, which is kinda clunky for a land. [/b]
I don't like YOU.
elf lvr
Posted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 6:57 pm
Joined: 13 Jun 2006 Posts: 3065 Location: Rivendell
Felipe Musco wrote:
See? This is what I meant. Also, it can be an artifact creature, thatís also a mount. See why turning into an enchantment works better? Also, banding works almost exactly how your idea does, and itís been tried, and proven to be too confusing and annoying to maintain.


Alright, Felipe. Point taken. How would YOU word these cards (trying to keep with the original idea) because Iím now totally lost on how to do it.

And by the way, Iím shifting all the wyvern stuff into the Red/White group. So, as soon as I can get an idea on how to re-format them, Iíll do some serious post editing.

Hereís the lands (removed from above) in their R/W versions (and with some edits).

Aaaaand some lands.

Daein Badlands
Land
Daein Badlands comes into play tapped.
Tap: Add 1 to your mana pool.
1Tap: Add RedWhite to your mana pool.
U

Wyvern Breeding Grounds
Land
Wyvern Breeding Grounds comes into play tapped.
Tap: Add Red to your mana pool.
Wyverncycling - 3
U

Blackened Skies
Land
Tap: Add 1 to your mana pool.
RedTap: Target wyvern is +1/+1 until the end of the turn.
C

Okay, so theyíre not so different. Iíll put some new cards up later tonight.
Last edited by elf lvr on Wed Sep 26, 2007 3:40 pm; edited 1 time in totalHappy Hunting! Elf Lvr
Winner of Best Personality in the FPCA. Thanks!
Archduke Elf Lvr - Archidoux of the Chosen Ones
AMV Maker In-Training! Check out my newest production, Katsu!- A Diedara Tribute!
And behold, EL declared it good. And there was morning, and there was evening, the first (new) day. ~ DainIronfoot
elf lvr
Posted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 7:49 pm
Joined: 13 Jun 2006 Posts: 3065 Location: Rivendell
Wyvern Mount RedWhite
Creature - Wyvern
Flying.
2: Wyvern Mount becomes an artifact and equips target creature. Equipped creature gets +1/+1 and flying.
You didnít have to be a good fighter to be a wyvern rider. You just have to know how to hold on.
1/1
C

Does it work better this way? Or do I still need to make some changes?

And... hereís a few more cards to whet your appetite.

Lloyd, the White Wolf 4WhiteWhite
Legendary Creature - Human Soldier
First Strike.
When you play Lloyd, if Red was spent to play him, it has double strike.
Whenever Lloyd attacks and isnít blocked, you may have it deal first strike damage to target creature instead of your opponent.
Daeinís general isnít satisfied with directing from the rear. He strikes like lightning through the enemyís front lines.
3/4
R

Kingís Spire
Land
Kingís Spire comes into play tapped.
Tap: Add White to your mana pool.
3RedWhite, Sacrifice Kingís Spire: Search your library for a legendary creature, reveal it, and put it in your hand. Shuffle your library afterwards.
R

Too good? I tried to cost it high.

Pharaean Battlements
Legendary Land
Pharaean Battlments comes into play tapped.
Tap: Add 1 to your many pool.
RedWhiteTap: Put a 1/1 Wyvern creature token with flying into play.
R

Am I making too many lands? Laughing I just have a lot of ideas.
Last edited by elf lvr on Wed Oct 03, 2007 8:40 pm; edited 6 times in totalHappy Hunting! Elf Lvr
Winner of Best Personality in the FPCA. Thanks!
Archduke Elf Lvr - Archidoux of the Chosen Ones
AMV Maker In-Training! Check out my newest production, Katsu!- A Diedara Tribute!
And behold, EL declared it good. And there was morning, and there was evening, the first (new) day. ~ DainIronfoot

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