Random Drunken DCs. Wooooo

[menace64]

The Old Method: turn to random page, point to text, write card. Let's go.

The Least of Rings
Event • Response
If a phase ends and the Ring-bearer is not wearing The One Ring, discard a minion and a condition from play to make the Ring-bearer wear The One Ring until the end of the next phase.
"'The Ring! What shall we do with the Ring... the trifle that Sauron fancies? That is the doom that we must deem.'"

We're long overdue for more forced interactions with the Ring, in my opinion. My disastrous efforts with Phallen to make Uruk Spy useful might have influenced the aggressiveness of this card. At least this card gives you some kind of opening with which to hurt the Ring-bearer for ever thinking of toting the Precious across enemy lines.

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•Beyond Light and Knowledge
Condition • Response
If the fellowship moves during the regroup phase, reveal a unique minion from your hand to play this condition. Bearer must be an unbound companion.
Unless skirmishing a unique minion, bearer's game text does not apply.
"'Thither I came at last, to the uttermost foundations of stone. He was with me still.'"

Shut a companion down! Unusual timing restrictions for a condition, but when have I ever cared about that sorta thing?

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Near at Hand
Event • Skirmish
Reveal any number of Men minions from your hand to make your Man minion (or Saruman) strength +1 for each Man revealed.
"'It won't be easy scaring them a second time. They were taken by surprise. You heard the horn-blowing? Evidently there are other ruffians...'"

A wickedly-abusable splash pump. Works with , , Men, or even Bill Ferny.

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Hey! Come Merry Dol!
Event • Maneuver
Spell.
Exert a Hobbit companion (except the Ring-bearer) to play Tom Bombadil from your draw deck, discard pile, or dead pile.
"'Hey! Come derry dol! Hop along, my hearties! / Hobbits! Ponies all! We are fond of parties. / Now let the fun begin! Let us sing together!

Probably useless, but it's got the flavor right where I want it.

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White Face Vanished
Condition • Support Area
To play, spot Sméagol and exert a Hobbit companion.
Sméagol is strength +4. Each Nazgûl is strength +2. Discard this condition at the start of the regroup phase.
"'White face has vanished, my precious, at last, yes. Now we can fish in peace. No, not in peace, precious. For Precious is lost; yes, lost. Dirty hobbits, nasty hobbits. Gone and left us, gollum; and Precious is lost.'"

Related to Not Feared in Sunlight, but tailored for Smeagol's particular proclivities.

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The Council of Lossoth
Event • Regroup
Tale.
Remove a artifact in your discard pile from the game to play up to 2 cards from your discard pile (except artifacts).
"'This is a thing of worth beyond your reckoning. For its ancestry alone. It has no power, save the esteem in which those hold it who love my house. It will not help you, but if ever you are in need, my kin will ransom it with great store of all that you desire.'"

Is it worth it? I dunno.

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•Graven in Memory
Condition • Companion
Spell. Tale. To play, exert an Elf. Bearer must be a unique non-Elf companion.
Regroup: Discard this condition to play a card of bearer's culture from out of play, ignoring that card's to-play restrictions.
"...and long afterwards he interpreted them, as well as he could: the language was that of Elven-song and spoke of things little known on Middle-earth.

The intent of this card is to allow Free Peoples players to bring cards into the game from their binders, or from stacks of nearby cards nobody seems to be paying attention to. It requires some setup to pull off, though.

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Accomplished Much
Event • Maneuver or Skirmish or Regroup
Spell.
Exert Gandalf and spot Shadowfax to do any of the following: remove a Shadow token; exert a unique minion; remove ; remove a threat; draw a card; or discard a card at random from a Shadow player's hand.
"'Is this your work also, Gandalf, my friend?' said Théoden. 'You accomplished much in an evening and a night!'"

I might love this card.

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•Merry, Master Bag
Ally • Home 5[K] • Hobbit
Strength: 5
Vitality: 4
Signet: Théoden
Valiant. To play, exert Éowyn (or spot 3 mounted companions).
While you can spot 4 threats, Merry participates in skirmishes.
Response: If you play a skirmish event, exert Merry twice to play that skirmish event from your discard pile.
"'I am not a tree-root, Sir,' he said, 'nor a bag, but a bruised hobbit. The least you can do in amends is to tell me what is afoot.'"

YES. Not only does this Merry come out at site 5[K], he'll also fight if the situation becomes dire enough, although he's still too small to absorb archery fire... which is fine, since you'll want to ration his vitality for that sweet, sweet skirmish-pump recursion.

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Strange and Furtive
Condition • Support Area
At the start of each shadow phase, if you cannot spot a Tree with enduring, you may play a Tree with enduring from your draw deck.
Skirmish: Spot your Tree with 2 or more wounds to resolve its skirmish using mettle instead of strength. Discard this condition.
"...and if they looked up to the pale sky, they caught sight of queer gnarled and knobbly faces that gloomed dark against the twilight..."

This card exists only in a hypothetical universe's meta.

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Bending Over Him
Event • Skirmish
Make Shelob damage +1 for each wound on a character she is skirmishing.
"...already bound in cords, wound about him from ankle to shoulder, and the monster with her great forelegs was beginning half to lift, half to drag his body away."

Kill. Kill. Kill. 

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Beyond Bowshot
Event • Shadow
Reveal a mount from your hand to play a Nazgul from your discard pile. The Free Peoples player may reveal a Free Peoples mount from hand to prevent this.
"...birdlike forms, horrible as carrion-fowl yet greater than eagles, cruel as death. Now they swooped near, venturing almost within bowshot of the walls, now they circled away."

The prevention text is a little wonky without additional flavor text, but the gist here is that Gandalf's intervention prevented the further harassment of the winged Nazgul as the forces of Osgiliath retreated.

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I could keep going. Maybe that's enough.

[menace64]

There were too few characters in that post, and that bothered me.

•Balin, Heeding the Whispers
Ally • Home 4[F] • Dwarf
Strength: 5
Vitality: 2
Damage +1.
Regroup: Discard a Dwarf from hand to play a possession or artifact from your discard pile.
"'...and though Dáin did not give leave willingly, he took with him Ori and Óin and many of our folk, and they went away south.'"

I kinda like the idea of being able to encounter Balin at site 4[F], even if he's completely alone and requires you to burn Dwarves from your hand just to make him useful.

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Easterling Mahtar
Minion • Man
Strength: 5
Vitality: 1
Site Number: 4
Easterling. When you play this minion, discard X possessions from hand to add .
Assignment: Discard this minion to play a possession from your discard pile; its twilight cost is -2.
"They heard singing and hoarse shouting. At first it seemed a long way off, but it drew nearer: it was coming towards them."

I found the word 'mahtar' as an old Ottoman term referring to musicians in a marching regiment. Seemed appropriate. Anyways, this minion helps accelerate decks regardless of subculture, since they're all reliant on possessions and could use a kick in that direction.

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Gorgoroth Tracker
Ally • Site 7[K] & 8[K] • Orc
Strength: 9
Vitality: 2
Tracker. To play, spot a fortification.
While you can spot more wounds on Ring-bound companions than Ring-bound companions, the minion archery total is +1.
Regroup: Discard this ally to play a minion from your discard pile.
"One was clad in ragged brown and was armed with a bow of horn... evidently a tracker of some kind."

There aren't currently any cards in the pool for dealing with Shadow allies, but in an environment where they exist I don't imagine it'd be too terribly difficult to get rid of this guy. Even then, he's non-unique, and absolutely punishes you for flippantly tossing wounds onto your Ring-bound companions.

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•Celeborn, Hardener of Hearts
Ally • Home 6[F] • Elf
Strength: 6
Vitality: 3
While you can spot your Ring-bearer, you may exert Celeborn to make a companion (except the Ring-bearer) resistance or mettle +2.
"'I see that you do not yet know what to do... It is not my part to choose for you; but I will help you as I may.'"

I wanted to keep Celeborn's text short and simple. I'm not sure on the wording here, but I want Celeborn to be able to use his game text at absolutely any time.
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•Aragorn, Westbound Warrior
Companion • Man
Strength: 8
Vitality: 4
Signet: Gandalf
For each Ring-bound companion you spot, the twilight cost of each site is +1.
Each time Aragorn wins a skirmish, you may draw a card or discard a Shadow condition borne by an unbound companion.
"'But the quest of your companions is over. Your next journey is marked by your given word. You must go to Edoras and seek out Théoden in his hall. For you are needed.'"

I really want to keep the penalty text, so lemme know if this Aragorn needs a bump elsewhere to make him comparable to his other personas.

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•Bilbo, Rival of the Old Took
Ally • Home 3[F] • Hobbit
Strength: 1
Vitality: 2
To play, spot an Elf whose home site is 3[F].
Regroup: Remove a tale in your discard pile from the game to take a card into your hand from your discard pile. Any Shadow player may remove a threat to prevent this.
"'Do you know, I shall be one hundred and twenty-nine? And in one year more, if I am spared, I shall equal the Old Took. I should like to beat him...'"

This Bilbo further extends the usefulness of your tales, and acts as a threat-remover when utilized properly.

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Uruk Ambusher
Minion • Uruk-hai
Strength: 9
Vitality: 2
Site Number: 5
Damage +1.
While you can spot 5 companions, each Uruk-hai gains ambush .
"There seemed to be cries in the woods behind..."

An otherwise-boring minion that folds newer mechanics into older cultures.

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•Quickbeam, Younger Ent
Companion • Ent
Strength: 8
Vitality: 3
For each event you reveal from your hand when you play Quickbeam, his twilight cost is -1.
Skirmish: Exert Quickbeam to make an Ent-bound Hobbit strength +1, or exert an Ent-bound Hobbit to make Quickbeam strength +1.
"'Bregalad is his Elvish name. He says he has already made up his mind and does not need to remain at the Moot. Hm, hm... you ought to get on together.'"

In the alternate universe where this card exists, 'Ent-bound' is a keyword not unlike Ring-bound (or War-bound!). And this guy sure knows how to move around in a fight!

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Warrior of Dol Amroth
Companion • Man
Strength: 5
Vitality: 3
Knight. To play, spot a fortification.
Each time you play a event, you may exert this companion to play a possession on him from your discard pile.
"...with gilded banners bearing his token of the Ship and the Silver Swan, and a company of knights in full harness riding grey horses..."

Tanking support!