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Total Votes : 12
AgentDrake
Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2007 10:09 pm
Joined: 01 Apr 2007 Posts: 667 Location: Halfway between eccentric and insane...
--- description ---
What would the Balrog think of all this, anyway? I mean, after all, the guy’s pretty big and important. Take a peek into the Balrog’s personal Blog, and learn what motivates this minion, and take a brief look at some of his various support cards.
--- end description ---

Sorry, guys. No decklists or matchups, as I have neither the time nor the energy. So I’m just trying to go over the basics of this guy and his toys.

The Balrog’s Blog

DEAR BLOG:
I am the Balrog. I doubt that anyone will read this, but that’s precisely why I’m writing it.
Nobody cares about my feelings. Always the “big bad Balrog” that has to kill everyone’s favorite hero: first it was Fingolfin, then Glorfindel, then Durin, then finally Gandalf.
But I’m really a friendly fellow; with a warm heart. (Very warm.) I’m one of the Shadow Player’s best friends!

You see, it’s all a misunderstanding. I’m a quiet sorta guy. But all this hostility is sorta getting me fired up, ya know…?
So I’m speaking out, to let people know what I’m really like….


Table of Contents:


Introduction Blog
Durin’s Bane:
- Blog
- Analysis
Flame of Udun:
- Blog
- Analysis
Terror of Flame and Shadow:
- Blog
- Analysis
The Terror of Khazad-Dum:
- Blog
- Analysis
Demon of Might:
- Blog
- Analysis

Middle Earth Gazette Headline
- Auction Items

A Final Note


The Balrog, Durin’s Bane

DEAR BLOG:
A reliable friend: that’s me. I always show up when my buddies are in trouble. That’s why I came to The Bridge of Khazad-dum. I always showed up, on time and punctual. A wonderfully splashable minion, who could go in any deck, back in the old Fellowship Block days. The inevitable Bridge at Site 5 was my cue, and like a faithful ally, I appeared. Common, that’s me, so even the most casual player could get a copy.



Analysis: The Balrog, Durin’s Bane

Fellowship Block:
With the unavoidable Fellowhip Bridge at Site 5, this guy makes a great splash addition to any Fellowship-block deck, as you don’t even have to have him in hand. 1 copy in the deck will skip all that annoying archery, and get straight to the fighting. And, while he’s not as powerful as most Balrogs, even a lone cost 6 (at the Bridge) minion with strength 17, damage +1 and fierce is still nothing to sneeze at. There may be better choices for any given deck, but this fiery fellow is still worth thinking about.

Open/Expanded:
With the loss of the Fellowship Bridge in the sitepath, this guy becomes a lot less useful. Discarding all other minions, and requiring an underground site is a hefty price for such a comparatively crummy Balrog.

Standard:
He’s rotated.



The Balrog, Flame of Udun

DEAR BLOG:
But no, they weren’t satisfied with just my company. So I invited a few friends over. The Moria goblins are good acquaintances of mine. I pulled a few from the Discard Pile, and introduced them to Frodo. I don’t think they got along very well, what with the whole “noodle incident” and the aftermath, but that wasn’t my fault….



Analysis: The Balrog, Flame of Udun

Fellowship Block:
Again, the unavoidable Bridge site brings this guy out for cheap(er). But this time, he’s bringing friends along. Twilight removal isn’t a happy prospect for Moria, but they can get plenty of free stuff. Goblin Runner could be played for 1. If you have plenty of Twilight, the Balrog can fetch up to four minions on his own, plus whatever Hosts of Thousands or other retrieval you have. Nice addition to a Moria Swarm deck.

Open/Expanded:
Gains the benefit of having lots of underground sites to choose from, and be played at. Potentially a lot more useful than in Fellowship block, even, as he can be played late game with more twilight out at an underground site 8 or 9, and with a bigger selection of previously discarded minions. On the minus hand, the Bridge can’t pull him from the Draw deck, and his cost isn’t reduced as much. Still a nice way to get back a few minions.

Standard:
He’s rotated.



The Balrog, Terror of Flame and Shadow

DEAR BLOG:
They didn’t like my friends, so I got sorta angry. I mean, it’s one thing if they just dislike by pals, but when they start killing them, I get a little mad, ya know? I think anyone would. So I thought to myself, “I’d better stick up for my friends!” So I did. I didn’t mean to get all ‘fired up,’ (pardon the pun!) but I couldn’t help it. I went after one of the bigger companions, and really beat them up. But I think it’s entirely justified. I mean, if someone was knocking off your pals’ heads, you wouldn’t stand for it, would you?



Analysis: The Balrog, Terror of Flame and Shadow

Towers Block:
Not overly useful. A copy or two of Durin’s Tower can boost him a little, but he’s not that good without more support, except maybe as an annoyingly expensive splash minion.

Open/Expanded:
An excellent choice for any Moria beatdown, and especially for Balrog Beatdown. His Damage +2, when combined with the Whip of Many Thongs, Weapon of Flame and Shadow makes him a huge force to be reckoned with. The loss of events and fighting a fierce Damage +2 minion is a major problem for the Free Peoples, especially as they can’t just bump off a few crummy little companions.

Standard:
He’s rotated.



The Balrog, The Terror of Khazad-Dum

DEAR BLOG:
After that little incident, I wasn’t really so welcome over at the Free Peoples’ parties. They said I had a hot temper, and couldn’t be controlled. But the truth is, it was them and the goblins who started the fight. I just finished it. Anyhow, it made me really agry, the injustice of it all. So I came back again, fierce this time, to give them a piece of my mind….



Analysis: The Balrog, The Terror of Khazad-Dum

Shadows Block:
Again, powerful, but not enough Block support to build a deck around him. His new whip is incredibly useful, but four Balrogs and four Whips cannot a Shadow Side make. On the plus hand, he doesn’t depend on Moria cards specifically in any way, so he could always make a splash appearance. But is he worth the card slots???

Open/Expanded:
How wonderfully convenient: a big minion which is potentially fierce. At 12 cost, with a Bridge for -3 whenever, he’s not that bad. But again, compared to others, is he really worth it? Perhaps against archery and direct wounding, as his wound prevention ability is pretty nice, depending on your meta.

Standard:
He’s not rotated. But most of the useful stuff for him is. Same comments for this one as for the Shadows Block.



The Balrog, Demon of Might

DEAR BLOG:
I’ve had it! So there’s the story. That’s why I killed them all. They started it by attacking my goblin friends, and I was just trying to defend my pals. But no, I’m the bad guy now!
I’ve taken all my best bits, and I’m putting them together to get one big push. I’m going to wipe them out. The Free Peoples called me a monster, and, by golly, a monster they’ll get!!!



Analysis: The Balrog, Demon of Might

Block Format:
If you can figure what block he belongs to, you’re welcome to try it!

Open/Expanded:
The ultimate Balrog. This one takes everything good from the previous Balrogs and combines them into one big, lovable fireball. Fierce, damage +2, no archery… all that fun stuff. What’s not to like?



THE MIDDLE-EARTH GAZETTE:

NEWSFLASH! BALROG SLAYS FELLOWSHIP, THEN DIES!
Artifacts up for Auction

Today, a Mr. Balrog, who was notorious following a so-called “noodle incident” involving the Fellowship of the ring and several Moria Orcs was seen marching angrily towards the Fellowship. Chaos ensued, in which the 9-person clique of Free Peoples was entirely wiped out. Shortly afterwards, Mr. Balrog also expired, due to an unfortunate (or fortunate, depending on how you look at it) incident involving a large waterballoon and a cropduster. Details are still sketchy, but it appears that the cropduster had been loaded with water by Dr. Elrond (of Rivendell) and flown by a Mr. Fangorn Treebeard, who cried “Release the River!” and poured water all over Mr. Balrog, thus drowning out his hot-tempered existence.
It has been announced that Mr. Balrog’s collection of Artifacts, Events, and Conditions will be auctioned tomorrow at 12:00 Mordor Time.
A short description of each object follows:


The Auction Items:

Goblin Spear:
We have yet to figure out why Mr. Balrog possessed this possession, but we figure it was to add burdens. With his high strength and damage, it could very well have been a formidable weapon.

The Balrog’s Sword:
A nice artifact to pump up any Balrog’s strength and damage for minimal cost. Bonus features include the ability to bear another hand weapon, such as a whip, or even Goblin Spear to add burdens.

Final Cry:
A good event for killing companions. It appears that Mr. Balrog had been preparing for his confrontation with the Fellowship for a long time by amassing several of this deadly event.

Dark Fire:
It seems Mr. Balrog had a vendetta against Gandalf. While the use of this condition is a bit of a gamble, hoping that your opponent will have a Gandalf, it may be useful, given the large number of Gandalfs popping up in the meta; from splashing Gandalf, Leader of the Company, to the Gandalf Men beginning to become slightly more common, this is a nice card to weaken, though not kill a Gandalf-bound opponent. Best of all, it’s not limit 1, so if you’re willing to run four, you can chop up Gandalf by 8 strength and four exertions per movement.

Dark Places:
This condition seems to have been hoarded by Mr. Balrog in order to increase his already obscenely high strength. We can only imagine what he intended to do; perhaps overwhelm multiple tank companions?

Fill With Fear:
While Mr. Balrog didn’t have much to fear himself from archery, it seems that he was a very loyal minion, and defended his Moria goblin allies fiercely. With their low vitality, perhaps he hoped to use this condition to keep his buddies alive.

Must Do Without Hope:
Mr. Balrog seems particularly fond of not only big strength, big damage, but also big burdens. Between this and the Goblin Spear, he could add several burdens in a single fell swoop. Works well with Troubled Mountains.

Power and Terror:
Not only would Mr. Balrog invite his orc friends to parties, but they would invite him….

Troubled Mountains:
And Mr. Balrog would promptly use the burdens he had added to get more twilight for more of his Moria buddies.

Whip of Many Thongs:
Pesky armor canceling damage bonuses? Pesky helm canceling wounds? Pesky shield killing your goblin archery? With this handy whip, you can take care of that once and for all!

Durin’s Tower:
As if Mr. Balrog wasn’t big enough already….
Take out the big tanks with this quick and free strength+3 pump to be used at will without clogging your hand.

Whip of Many Thongs, Weapon of Flame and Shadow:
This highly useful artifact makes Mr. Balrog fierce, if he isn’t already. Plus, it gets rid of all those annoying events like strength pumps and other nasty surprises for both your Balrog and his buddies.




Final note:

It has come to my attention that said “Mr. Balrog” left behind several living relations when he died. My consolation to those poor people who had a Balrog as a relative, but that still doesn’t excuse them throwing “good riddance” parties instead of a nice funeral.
After all,
Balrogs are people, too!
Last edited by AgentDrake on Thu Jun 28, 2007 5:34 pm; edited 2 times in totalNever kid about politicians. The more bizarre the joke, the more likely it is to come true.
CarpeGuitarrem
Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2007 10:28 pm
Joined: 07 Apr 2006 Posts: 3361 Location: Franciscan University of Steubenville
Hey, that’s a pretty nice article you got there! The very first analysis of the Balrog I’ve seen so far! 4 or 5, especially because of the creative style!
"ok, change of plans. the Cobracards christmas party is coming to my house, and we’re gunna teach FM how to hunt." (mm)
lem0nhead
Posted: Thu Jun 28, 2007 3:12 am
Joined: 02 Apr 2007 Posts: 2981 Location: Blood Island
Well seeing as youve said no match ups or deck lists i cant give you a 5 but i will hold off voting in case you do. I really like your attempt at creating a new style of article, light hearted and pretty good. I would give a 4 probably, mainly for ingenuity!

O and theres no link for the terror of khazad dhum, the name isnt a hyperlink like the others.
Ban shampoo, demand real poo.
Popcorn My Trade List and CC References
"Smart guy, especially considering his head is filled with lemon juice and seeds. That boy’s juicy brain is FULL of good stuff" ~ DainIronfoot
"No fair! And all I got was an oily unconscious steward!" ~ Pippin.
"Okay, stop me if you've heard this one. An elf, a man, and a dwarf walk into the Riddermark..." ~ Eomer
macheteman
Posted: Thu Jun 28, 2007 8:33 am
Joined: 07 Dec 2006 Posts: 1200 Location: The Jungle
i love this article. humorous, unique, and new. this type of article doesn’t need a decklist in my opinion. this is an overview of the balrog and his big bag of tricks, and like many other articles, doesn’t need a decklist. in fact, i think a decklist would be very awkward in this article.

granted, the article could have been written with a decklist for each balrog, dragging through explanations of each deck, and it’s strategy etc etc, but that would have been painful to read. there is only so many balrog cards out there, and AD did an excellent job executing and overview of those cards.

5

-mm
Check out my best article The Utterly Corrupt Corruption,
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lem0nhead
Posted: Thu Jun 28, 2007 8:38 am
Joined: 02 Apr 2007 Posts: 2981 Location: Blood Island
True i hadnt thought about the fact that it would be the same deck 4 or 5 times slightly tweaked each time. A simple match up against the main freeps decks would be good though, even if a little obvious. I.e. IB deck - big time bummer.
Ban shampoo, demand real poo.
Popcorn My Trade List and CC References
"Smart guy, especially considering his head is filled with lemon juice and seeds. That boy’s juicy brain is FULL of good stuff" ~ DainIronfoot
"No fair! And all I got was an oily unconscious steward!" ~ Pippin.
"Okay, stop me if you've heard this one. An elf, a man, and a dwarf walk into the Riddermark..." ~ Eomer
TheHobbit13
Posted: Thu Jun 28, 2007 10:39 am
Joined: 27 Jul 2006 Posts: 1303 Location: minnesota
i would like to see some deck lists and matchups but a solid four for me now
good job here take a gp
If you like LOTR then maybe you would like redemption ccg PM me for more info
LeoKula
Posted: Thu Jun 28, 2007 12:05 pm
Joined: 31 Oct 2005 Posts: 479 Location: SP, Brazil
One of the best articles I’ve read!! GP for creativity and a solid 5 !! Applause

Honestly I don’t care about match-ups or decklists because they RARELY are tested anyway... People usually build decks by reading the card’s texts and IMAGINE what match-ups would be like, but your thinking is perfect!! One should take the time to analyze match-ups and play more than once against each type of deck, otherwise it becomes really boring to read...

For example: the deck has no burden removal, then on match-up the guy writes "bad against corruption" ... isn’t that obvious? LoL

Congrats again, I usually don’t like the articles but yours is really distinct Very Happy I couldn’t help picturing the balrog writing entries for his blog in a MacBook hahaha so funny!! Applause
BearerOfQuality
Posted: Thu Jun 28, 2007 12:15 pm
Joined: 20 Jun 2007 Posts: 217 Location: United Kingdom
Hahaha, I was just sitting at home and starting drawing a stick Balrog with his laptop Very Happy

Neat article, very nice. It’s good to have a mix of serious articles that examine decktypes etc and some that are light-hearted and entertaining. A 5 from me and have a GP on the house
http://trade.mahasamatman.com/Rings/list_show.pl?user=harrisonl
(needs updating)

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sickofpalantirs
Posted: Thu Jun 28, 2007 12:33 pm
Joined: 23 Mar 2006 Posts: 7750 Location: somwhere, over the rainbow way up high. There's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby.
couldn’t foul things be considered a rog card? anyway sweet and creative 5
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(mm)"SoP: you will always be the Official CC Spammer in my heart"
"DáinIronfoot"
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lem0nhead
Posted: Thu Jun 28, 2007 1:02 pm
Joined: 02 Apr 2007 Posts: 2981 Location: Blood Island
sickofpalantirs wrote:
couldn’t foul things be considered a rog card? anyway sweet and creative 5


Whats a rog?

P.s. 1000 posts SWEET!
Ban shampoo, demand real poo.
Popcorn My Trade List and CC References
"Smart guy, especially considering his head is filled with lemon juice and seeds. That boy’s juicy brain is FULL of good stuff" ~ DainIronfoot
"No fair! And all I got was an oily unconscious steward!" ~ Pippin.
"Okay, stop me if you've heard this one. An elf, a man, and a dwarf walk into the Riddermark..." ~ Eomer

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