Never-Ending Parody DC Chain!

[Anvar]

•Old Age
To play exert a minion.
Each Free Peoples character is strength -X where X is their twilight cost.
Treebeard always claimed to be 21 again.

[Gerontius]

ºGil-Galad, Maker of Broken Combos
Companion-Elf
Str-9
Vit-4
Res-9
Maneuver: Discard a condition, possession, artifact, follower, ally, minion, or companion to place an token on a card in play.
"Gil-Galad was an elven king, of him the harpers sadly sing..."

ºAeglos, Just to make things worse
Artifact-Hand Weapon
Vit +1
Maneuver: Remove an token to play an card from your draw deck.

Sorry posting two cards. 

[Sam, Great Elf Warrior]

Well-Seasoned Leader [gollum]
Condition
Vitality: -1
Bearer must be a minion.
Skirmish: Remove a threat and discard bearer to make Shelob strength +5 and damage +1.
Only by many spices and seasonings does one rise to prominence in the menu of Shelob.

[Gate Troll]

Sharkey's Hobbit Sauce
Possession • BBQ Sauce
Bearer must be an Orc or Uruk-hai.
Shadow: Sneak a hobbit out of your opponent's dead pile.
roast, and add sauce to taste. Feed said hobbit to an Orc or Uruk-hai.
(and, come to think of it, Gollum probably wouldn't mind BBQ-ed hobbit either...)
Said Orc, Uruk-hai (or perhaps even Gollum) loses Hungry and becomes Happily Full.
"Saruman: 9 out of 10 orcs prefer the taste of barbecued hobbit to mystery meat.
10 out 10 orcs prefer the taste of barbecued hobbit with Sharkey's Hobbit Sauce
to mystery meat. Its either Sharkey's... ...or nothing. *Upbeat Music*

[Sam, Great Elf Warrior]

Unneeded
Event • Response
If a minion exerts, heal that minion to wound that minion.

[Sam, Great Elf Warrior]

Mumak, Such a Weight to Carry
Possession • Mount
Bearer must be a Southron of strength 16 or higher.
Bearer is exhausted.
Skirmish: Discard this possession to wound a companion bearer is skirmishing ten times.
"'Hey, I have an idea: How about instead of us bearing the mumakil around, let's have them bear us.' 'Shh...quiet down. Just wait until those companions come within throwing range.'"

[Mager]

Arwen, Frodo's Lover
Str: 7
Vit: 3
Signet: Frodo
To play ,spot Frodo.
Each time Frodo is about to take a wound, wound Arwen instead.
Each time Arwen is about to take a wound, wound a minion or discard a shadow card instead.
Fellowship: Attach Arwen on Frodo, you may play Frodo's Son from your drawdeck at the start of your next turn, Arwen may not be assigned to skirmishes until the end of the game.

[Sam, Great Elf Warrior]

Ent Drought
Condition
Vitality: -1
To play, spot a minion. Bearer must be an Ent. Limit 1 per bearer.
Each time bearer exerts during a skirmish, he or she is damage -1.
After Saruman dammed up the Isen, the desertification of Fangorn began.

[MR. Lurtzy]

Does the rulebook say if you can be less than damage +0?

[Sam, Great Elf Warrior]

Does the rulebook say if you can be less than damage +0?

I don't think so. Normally, I probably would have been more conservative with the wording (e.g. "make minions in that skirmish unable to take wounds from losing that skirmish"), but because this is the parody chain, I favored greater parallelism to the real card over greater playability.

[Selrahc]

College [Evil Life]
Condition  • Support Area
Strength: -1
Maneuver: Exert 2 minions to transfer this to a companion. Bearer gains headache. Limit 1 per companion. Each time the fellowship moves, exhaust bearer.
Germs . . . they're everywhere!

It's getting to that time of the semester... Summer break, where are you?

--Selrahc

[Not a Zombie]

•Summer Break [Good Life]
Condition • Companion
Vitality: +3
When you play this condition, you may discard all College cards you spot.
If an opponent plays College, discard this condition.
"Not fall quater!!!"

[Selrahc]

•Summer Break, Well Needed Rest [Good Life]
Condition • Support Area
When you play this condition, the ring-bearer must get his or her wisdom teeth pulled out.
Regroup: Discard this condition to remove 2 burdens.
Laughing gas -- it's good for the soul.

--Selrahc

[legolas3333]

Winter Break [Semi-good life]
Condition - Support Area
When you play this condition, discard all [College] conditions.
At the start of the regroup phase, discard this condition and play all [College] Conditions from all players' discard piles.

[Selrahc]

•Winter [Life]
Companion • Maya
Strength: 10
Vitality: 6
Resitance: 9
Co-cost 2 (For each other companion you can spot, this companion is twilight cost +2).
When you play Winter, discard all conditions. Conditions may not be played.
Skirmish: Discard a condition from hand to make Winter strength +1 until the end of the regroup phase.

This card is horribly worded. Please excuse me.

--Selrahc