One day, Bilbo the hobbit decided that it was time for a little bit of adventure so he drank an ale. Suddenly, there was a sound of a nuclear explosion. Bilbo was so sure that he crapped his pants and turned invisible that he leapt over the shrubbery which surrounded his nether regions and proclaimed with a heartfelt squeal that he loved sam. The surprised badger, which Bilbo had caught with a delirious dwarf's hat, then bit his toes, which swelled...