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Author Topic: Three-Word Story  (Read 15217 times)

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September 01, 2008, 11:47:28 AM
Reply #90

Elendil!Urukfear

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Re: Three-Word Story
« Reply #90 on: September 01, 2008, 11:47:28 AM »
One day, Bilbo the hobbit decided that it was time for a little bit of adventure so he drank an ale.  Suddenly, there was a sound of a nuclear explosion. Bilbo was so sure that he crapped his pants and turned invisible that he leapt over the shrubbery which surrounded his nether regions and proclaimed with a heartfelt squeal that he loved sam. The surprised badger, which Bilbo had caught with a delirious dwarf's hat, then bit his toes, which swelled to ridiculous size. When the bleeding vicious aquatic chicken heard Bilbo's outcry he made sandwiches. Meanwhile, Farmer Maggot feeling refreshed from the smoking of smoldering goblin corpses which gave him superhobbit strength and a wonderful sense of his femininity, finally had time to move his new umbrella. Whereupon, Bilbo, setting out to locate a new spork for cleaning mithril, discovered Merry and Pippin busy digging up the corpse of Santa Claus with a hobbit sword. "Hey!" Bilbo shouted. "Where's Santa's new reindeer deep frier that he lent the Mountain-troll of the french alps?"

"I think it was mauled by an absolutely enormous goblin's pet fish!"

Just then a raging band of flying monkeys descended from the heavens to view the championship polo game, which was becoming rather exciting because Firefoot stepped in and rolled over the third goblin from Eomer's mum's wardrobe which had been trying to calculate it's internal volume.  Eomer grabbed his Tolkien action figure and threw it right at Sam's big hairy hobbit balls of yarn.

"Hey!" Sam yelled. "I was about to knit a new gnu!" Immediately a crippled fish rode by on the back of...
Time
What know we of this despondent thing
No sign no sound no tranquil ring
We try to tell its quantity
yet fail to see the point
Only one can know of it
to this eternal joint
We have not power in Use
To hold this creature bay
But only wait for it to change
Inside the soul of it we lay

September 02, 2008, 04:09:00 PM
Reply #91

Anautikus

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Re: Three-Word Story
« Reply #91 on: September 02, 2008, 04:09:00 PM »
One day, Bilbo the hobbit decided that it was time for a little bit of adventure so he drank an ale.  Suddenly, there was a sound of a nuclear explosion. Bilbo was so sure that he crapped his pants and turned invisible that he leapt over the shrubbery which surrounded his nether regions and proclaimed with a heartfelt squeal that he loved sam. The surprised badger, which Bilbo had caught with a delirious dwarf's hat, then bit his toes, which swelled to ridiculous size. When the bleeding vicious aquatic chicken heard Bilbo's outcry he made sandwiches. Meanwhile, Farmer Maggot feeling refreshed from the smoking of smoldering goblin corpses which gave him superhobbit strength and a wonderful sense of his femininity, finally had time to move his new umbrella. Whereupon, Bilbo, setting out to locate a new spork for cleaning mithril, discovered Merry and Pippin busy digging up the corpse of Santa Claus with a hobbit sword. "Hey!" Bilbo shouted. "Where's Santa's new reindeer deep frier that he lent the Mountain-troll of the french alps?"

"I think it was mauled by an absolutely enormous goblin's pet fish!"

Just then a raging band of flying monkeys descended from the heavens to view the championship polo game, which was becoming rather exciting because Firefoot stepped in and rolled over the third goblin from Eomer's mum's wardrobe which had been trying to calculate it's internal volume.  Eomer grabbed his Tolkien action figure and threw it right at Sam's big hairy hobbit balls of yarn.

"Hey!" Sam yelled. "I was about to knit a new gnu!" Immediately a crippled fish rode by on the back of Arwen's enormously large...
"Do yourself a favor; never try to send a grappling hook through the post office."



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September 02, 2008, 05:20:51 PM
Reply #92

AgentDrake

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Re: Three-Word Story
« Reply #92 on: September 02, 2008, 05:20:51 PM »
One day, Bilbo the hobbit decided that it was time for a little bit of adventure so he drank an ale.  Suddenly, there was a sound of a nuclear explosion. Bilbo was so sure that he crapped his pants and turned invisible that he leapt over the shrubbery which surrounded his nether regions and proclaimed with a heartfelt squeal that he loved sam. The surprised badger, which Bilbo had caught with a delirious dwarf's hat, then bit his toes, which swelled to ridiculous size. When the bleeding vicious aquatic chicken heard Bilbo's outcry he made sandwiches. Meanwhile, Farmer Maggot feeling refreshed from the smoking of smoldering goblin corpses which gave him superhobbit strength and a wonderful sense of his femininity, finally had time to move his new umbrella. Whereupon, Bilbo, setting out to locate a new spork for cleaning mithril, discovered Merry and Pippin busy digging up the corpse of Santa Claus with a hobbit sword. "Hey!" Bilbo shouted. "Where's Santa's new reindeer deep frier that he lent the Mountain-troll of the french alps?"

"I think it was mauled by an absolutely enormous goblin's pet fish!"

Just then a raging band of flying monkeys descended from the heavens to view the championship polo game, which was becoming rather exciting because Firefoot stepped in and rolled over the third goblin from Eomer's mum's wardrobe which had been trying to calculate it's internal volume.  Eomer grabbed his Tolkien action figure and threw it right at Sam's big hairy hobbit balls of yarn.

"Hey!" Sam yelled. "I was about to knit a new gnu!" Immediately a crippled fish rode by on the back of Arwen's enormously large TIE Fighter. "Turtles..."
Forget it. I'm not arguing with the computer anymore to try to get the sig I want....

September 02, 2008, 11:38:52 PM
Reply #93

Shieldmaiden

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Re: Three-Word Story
« Reply #93 on: September 02, 2008, 11:38:52 PM »
One day, Bilbo the hobbit decided that it was time for a little bit of adventure so he drank an ale.  Suddenly, there was a sound of a nuclear explosion. Bilbo was so sure that he crapped his pants and turned invisible that he leapt over the shrubbery which surrounded his nether regions and proclaimed with a heartfelt squeal that he loved sam. The surprised badger, which Bilbo had caught with a delirious dwarf's hat, then bit his toes, which swelled to ridiculous size. When the bleeding vicious aquatic chicken heard Bilbo's outcry he made sandwiches. Meanwhile, Farmer Maggot feeling refreshed from the smoking of smoldering goblin corpses which gave him superhobbit strength and a wonderful sense of his femininity, finally had time to move his new umbrella. Whereupon, Bilbo, setting out to locate a new spork for cleaning mithril, discovered Merry and Pippin busy digging up the corpse of Santa Claus with a hobbit sword. "Hey!" Bilbo shouted. "Where's Santa's new reindeer deep frier that he lent the Mountain-troll of the french alps?"

"I think it was mauled by an absolutely enormous goblin's pet fish!"

Just then a raging band of flying monkeys descended from the heavens to view the championship polo game, which was becoming rather exciting because Firefoot stepped in and rolled over the third goblin from Eomer's mum's wardrobe which had been trying to calculate it's internal volume.  Eomer grabbed his Tolkien action figure and threw it right at Sam's big hairy hobbit balls of yarn.

"Hey!" Sam yelled. "I was about to knit a new gnu!" Immediately a crippled fish rode by on the back of Arwen's enormously large TIE Fighter. "Turtles have taken over..."
 

September 03, 2008, 02:53:03 AM
Reply #94

lem0nhead

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Re: Three-Word Story
« Reply #94 on: September 03, 2008, 02:53:03 AM »
One day, Bilbo the hobbit decided that it was time for a little bit of adventure so he drank an ale.  Suddenly, there was a sound of a nuclear explosion. Bilbo was so sure that he crapped his pants and turned invisible that he leapt over the shrubbery which surrounded his nether regions and proclaimed with a heartfelt squeal that he loved sam. The surprised badger, which Bilbo had caught with a delirious dwarf's hat, then bit his toes, which swelled to ridiculous size. When the bleeding vicious aquatic chicken heard Bilbo's outcry he made sandwiches. Meanwhile, Farmer Maggot feeling refreshed from the smoking of smoldering goblin corpses which gave him superhobbit strength and a wonderful sense of his femininity, finally had time to move his new umbrella. Whereupon, Bilbo, setting out to locate a new spork for cleaning mithril, discovered Merry and Pippin busy digging up the corpse of Santa Claus with a hobbit sword. "Hey!" Bilbo shouted. "Where's Santa's new reindeer deep frier that he lent the Mountain-troll of the french alps?"

"I think it was mauled by an absolutely enormous goblin's pet fish!"

Just then a raging band of flying monkeys descended from the heavens to view the championship polo game, which was becoming rather exciting because Firefoot stepped in and rolled over the third goblin from Eomer's mum's wardrobe which had been trying to calculate it's internal volume.  Eomer grabbed his Tolkien action figure and threw it right at Sam's big hairy hobbit balls of yarn.

"Hey!" Sam yelled. "I was about to knit a new gnu!" Immediately a crippled fish rode by on the back of Arwen's enormously large TIE Fighter. "Turtles have taken over my left sock..."
Ban shampoo, demand real poo.
That's like having "Some Who Ride Ponies" as a Rohan follower. ~ Dain Ironfoot.

September 03, 2008, 10:30:08 AM
Reply #95

Ulmo

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Re: Three-Word Story
« Reply #95 on: September 03, 2008, 10:30:08 AM »
One day, Bilbo the hobbit decided that it was time for a little bit of adventure so he drank an ale.  Suddenly, there was a sound of a nuclear explosion. Bilbo was so sure that he crapped his pants and turned invisible that he leapt over the shrubbery which surrounded his nether regions and proclaimed with a heartfelt squeal that he loved sam. The surprised badger, which Bilbo had caught with a delirious dwarf's hat, then bit his toes, which swelled to ridiculous size. When the bleeding vicious aquatic chicken heard Bilbo's outcry he made sandwiches. Meanwhile, Farmer Maggot feeling refreshed from the smoking of smoldering goblin corpses which gave him superhobbit strength and a wonderful sense of his femininity, finally had time to move his new umbrella. Whereupon, Bilbo, setting out to locate a new spork for cleaning mithril, discovered Merry and Pippin busy digging up the corpse of Santa Claus with a hobbit sword. "Hey!" Bilbo shouted. "Where's Santa's new reindeer deep frier that he lent the Mountain-troll of the french alps?"

"I think it was mauled by an absolutely enormous goblin's pet fish!"

Just then a raging band of flying monkeys descended from the heavens to view the championship polo game, which was becoming rather exciting because Firefoot stepped in and rolled over the third goblin from Eomer's mum's wardrobe which had been trying to calculate it's internal volume.  Eomer grabbed his Tolkien action figure and threw it right at Sam's big hairy hobbit balls of yarn.

"Hey!" Sam yelled. "I was about to knit a new gnu!" Immediately a crippled fish rode by on the back of Arwen's enormously large TIE Fighter. "Turtles have taken over my left sock, but because the..."
There are only 10 kinds of people in the world.  Those who know binary and those who don't.
You don't have a backpack. What you have there is an invisible leather TARDIS.

September 03, 2008, 11:16:12 AM
Reply #96

CCCORNIV

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Re: Three-Word Story
« Reply #96 on: September 03, 2008, 11:16:12 AM »
One day, Bilbo the hobbit decided that it was time for a little bit of adventure so he drank an ale.  Suddenly, there was a sound of a nuclear explosion. Bilbo was so sure that he crapped his pants and turned invisible that he leapt over the shrubbery which surrounded his nether regions and proclaimed with a heartfelt squeal that he loved sam. The surprised badger, which Bilbo had caught with a delirious dwarf's hat, then bit his toes, which swelled to ridiculous size. When the bleeding vicious aquatic chicken heard Bilbo's outcry he made sandwiches. Meanwhile, Farmer Maggot feeling refreshed from the smoking of smoldering goblin corpses which gave him superhobbit strength and a wonderful sense of his femininity, finally had time to move his new umbrella. Whereupon, Bilbo, setting out to locate a new spork for cleaning mithril, discovered Merry and Pippin busy digging up the corpse of Santa Claus with a hobbit sword. "Hey!" Bilbo shouted. "Where's Santa's new reindeer deep frier that he lent the Mountain-troll of the french alps?"

"I think it was mauled by an absolutely enormous goblin's pet fish!"

Just then a raging band of flying monkeys descended from the heavens to view the championship polo game, which was becoming rather exciting because Firefoot stepped in and rolled over the third goblin from Eomer's mum's wardrobe which had been trying to calculate it's internal volume.  Eomer grabbed his Tolkien action figure and threw it right at Sam's big hairy hobbit balls of yarn.

"Hey!" Sam yelled. "I was about to knit a new gnu!" Immediately a crippled fish rode by on the back of Arwen's enormously large TIE Fighter. "Turtles have taken over my left sock, but because the sun is in..."

September 03, 2008, 06:58:33 PM
Reply #97

AgentDrake

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Re: Three-Word Story
« Reply #97 on: September 03, 2008, 06:58:33 PM »
One day, Bilbo the hobbit decided that it was time for a little bit of adventure so he drank an ale.  Suddenly, there was a sound of a nuclear explosion. Bilbo was so sure that he crapped his pants and turned invisible that he leapt over the shrubbery which surrounded his nether regions and proclaimed with a heartfelt squeal that he loved sam. The surprised badger, which Bilbo had caught with a delirious dwarf's hat, then bit his toes, which swelled to ridiculous size. When the bleeding vicious aquatic chicken heard Bilbo's outcry he made sandwiches. Meanwhile, Farmer Maggot feeling refreshed from the smoking of smoldering goblin corpses which gave him superhobbit strength and a wonderful sense of his femininity, finally had time to move his new umbrella. Whereupon, Bilbo, setting out to locate a new spork for cleaning mithril, discovered Merry and Pippin busy digging up the corpse of Santa Claus with a hobbit sword. "Hey!" Bilbo shouted. "Where's Santa's new reindeer deep frier that he lent the Mountain-troll of the french alps?"

"I think it was mauled by an absolutely enormous goblin's pet fish!"

Just then a raging band of flying monkeys descended from the heavens to view the championship polo game, which was becoming rather exciting because Firefoot stepped in and rolled over the third goblin from Eomer's mum's wardrobe which had been trying to calculate it's internal volume.  Eomer grabbed his Tolkien action figure and threw it right at Sam's big hairy hobbit balls of yarn.

"Hey!" Sam yelled. "I was about to knit a new gnu!" Immediately a crippled fish rode by on the back of Arwen's enormously large TIE Fighter. "Turtles have taken over my left sock, but because the sun is in stasis, I must..."
Forget it. I'm not arguing with the computer anymore to try to get the sig I want....

September 03, 2008, 07:32:23 PM
Reply #98

Anautikus

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Re: Three-Word Story
« Reply #98 on: September 03, 2008, 07:32:23 PM »
One day, Bilbo the hobbit decided that it was time for a little bit of adventure so he drank an ale.  Suddenly, there was a sound of a nuclear explosion. Bilbo was so sure that he crapped his pants and turned invisible that he leapt over the shrubbery which surrounded his nether regions and proclaimed with a heartfelt squeal that he loved sam. The surprised badger, which Bilbo had caught with a delirious dwarf's hat, then bit his toes, which swelled to ridiculous size. When the bleeding vicious aquatic chicken heard Bilbo's outcry he made sandwiches. Meanwhile, Farmer Maggot feeling refreshed from the smoking of smoldering goblin corpses which gave him superhobbit strength and a wonderful sense of his femininity, finally had time to move his new umbrella. Whereupon, Bilbo, setting out to locate a new spork for cleaning mithril, discovered Merry and Pippin busy digging up the corpse of Santa Claus with a hobbit sword. "Hey!" Bilbo shouted. "Where's Santa's new reindeer deep frier that he lent the Mountain-troll of the french alps?"

"I think it was mauled by an absolutely enormous goblin's pet fish!"

Just then a raging band of flying monkeys descended from the heavens to view the championship polo game, which was becoming rather exciting because Firefoot stepped in and rolled over the third goblin from Eomer's mum's wardrobe which had been trying to calculate it's internal volume.  Eomer grabbed his Tolkien action figure and threw it right at Sam's big hairy hobbit balls of yarn.

"Hey!" Sam yelled. "I was about to knit a new gnu!" Immediately a crippled fish rode by on the back of Arwen's enormously large TIE Fighter. "Turtles have taken over my left sock, but because the sun is in stasis, I must thrust my body...
"Do yourself a favor; never try to send a grappling hook through the post office."



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September 03, 2008, 07:48:24 PM
Reply #99

Ulmo

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Re: Three-Word Story
« Reply #99 on: September 03, 2008, 07:48:24 PM »
One day, Bilbo the hobbit decided that it was time for a little bit of adventure so he drank an ale.  Suddenly, there was a sound of a nuclear explosion. Bilbo was so sure that he crapped his pants and turned invisible that he leapt over the shrubbery which surrounded his nether regions and proclaimed with a heartfelt squeal that he loved sam. The surprised badger, which Bilbo had caught with a delirious dwarf's hat, then bit his toes, which swelled to ridiculous size. When the bleeding vicious aquatic chicken heard Bilbo's outcry he made sandwiches. Meanwhile, Farmer Maggot feeling refreshed from the smoking of smoldering goblin corpses which gave him superhobbit strength and a wonderful sense of his femininity, finally had time to move his new umbrella. Whereupon, Bilbo, setting out to locate a new spork for cleaning mithril, discovered Merry and Pippin busy digging up the corpse of Santa Claus with a hobbit sword. "Hey!" Bilbo shouted. "Where's Santa's new reindeer deep frier that he lent the Mountain-troll of the french alps?"

"I think it was mauled by an absolutely enormous goblin's pet fish!"

Just then a raging band of flying monkeys descended from the heavens to view the championship polo game, which was becoming rather exciting because Firefoot stepped in and rolled over the third goblin from Eomer's mum's wardrobe which had been trying to calculate it's internal volume.  Eomer grabbed his Tolkien action figure and threw it right at Sam's big hairy hobbit balls of yarn.

"Hey!" Sam yelled. "I was about to knit a new gnu!" Immediately a crippled fish rode by on the back of Arwen's enormously large TIE Fighter. "Turtles have taken over my left sock, but because the sun is in stasis, I must thrust my body through the enormous...
There are only 10 kinds of people in the world.  Those who know binary and those who don't.
You don't have a backpack. What you have there is an invisible leather TARDIS.

September 03, 2008, 07:49:48 PM
Reply #100

AgentDrake

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Re: Three-Word Story
« Reply #100 on: September 03, 2008, 07:49:48 PM »
e day, Bilbo the hobbit decided that it was time for a little bit of adventure so he drank an ale.  Suddenly, there was a sound of a nuclear explosion. Bilbo was so sure that he crapped his pants and turned invisible that he leapt over the shrubbery which surrounded his nether regions and proclaimed with a heartfelt squeal that he loved sam. The surprised badger, which Bilbo had caught with a delirious dwarf's hat, then bit his toes, which swelled to ridiculous size. When the bleeding vicious aquatic chicken heard Bilbo's outcry he made sandwiches. Meanwhile, Farmer Maggot feeling refreshed from the smoking of smoldering goblin corpses which gave him superhobbit strength and a wonderful sense of his femininity, finally had time to move his new umbrella. Whereupon, Bilbo, setting out to locate a new spork for cleaning mithril, discovered Merry and Pippin busy digging up the corpse of Santa Claus with a hobbit sword. "Hey!" Bilbo shouted. "Where's Santa's new reindeer deep frier that he lent the Mountain-troll of the french alps?"

"I think it was mauled by an absolutely enormous goblin's pet fish!"

Just then a raging band of flying monkeys descended from the heavens to view the championship polo game, which was becoming rather exciting because Firefoot stepped in and rolled over the third goblin from Eomer's mum's wardrobe which had been trying to calculate it's internal volume.  Eomer grabbed his Tolkien action figure and threw it right at Sam's big hairy hobbit balls of yarn.

"Hey!" Sam yelled. "I was about to knit a new gnu!" Immediately a crippled fish rode by on the back of Arwen's enormously large TIE Fighter. "Turtles have taken over my left sock, but because the sun is in stasis, I must thrust my body through the enormous portal!" Asfolath announced.
Forget it. I'm not arguing with the computer anymore to try to get the sig I want....

September 04, 2008, 05:27:57 AM
Reply #101

lem0nhead

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Re: Three-Word Story
« Reply #101 on: September 04, 2008, 05:27:57 AM »
One day, Bilbo the hobbit decided that it was time for a little bit of adventure so he drank an ale.  Suddenly, there was a sound of a nuclear explosion. Bilbo was so sure that he crapped his pants and turned invisible that he leapt over the shrubbery which surrounded his nether regions and proclaimed with a heartfelt squeal that he loved sam. The surprised badger, which Bilbo had caught with a delirious dwarf's hat, then bit his toes, which swelled to ridiculous size. When the bleeding vicious aquatic chicken heard Bilbo's outcry he made sandwiches. Meanwhile, Farmer Maggot feeling refreshed from the smoking of smoldering goblin corpses which gave him superhobbit strength and a wonderful sense of his femininity, finally had time to move his new umbrella. Whereupon, Bilbo, setting out to locate a new spork for cleaning mithril, discovered Merry and Pippin busy digging up the corpse of Santa Claus with a hobbit sword. "Hey!" Bilbo shouted. "Where's Santa's new reindeer deep frier that he lent the Mountain-troll of the french alps?"

"I think it was mauled by an absolutely enormous goblin's pet fish!"

Just then a raging band of flying monkeys descended from the heavens to view the championship polo game, which was becoming rather exciting because Firefoot stepped in and rolled over the third goblin from Eomer's mum's wardrobe which had been trying to calculate it's internal volume.  Eomer grabbed his Tolkien action figure and threw it right at Sam's big hairy hobbit balls of yarn.

"Hey!" Sam yelled. "I was about to knit a new gnu!" Immediately a crippled fish rode by on the back of Arwen's enormously large TIE Fighter. "Turtles have taken over my left sock, but because the sun is in stasis, I must thrust my body through the enormous portal!" Asfaloth announced. So Asfaloth then...
Ban shampoo, demand real poo.
That's like having "Some Who Ride Ponies" as a Rohan follower. ~ Dain Ironfoot.

September 04, 2008, 07:34:10 AM
Reply #102

Ulmo

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Re: Three-Word Story
« Reply #102 on: September 04, 2008, 07:34:10 AM »
One day, Bilbo the hobbit decided that it was time for a little bit of adventure so he drank an ale.  Suddenly, there was a sound of a nuclear explosion. Bilbo was so sure that he crapped his pants and turned invisible that he leapt over the shrubbery which surrounded his nether regions and proclaimed with a heartfelt squeal that he loved sam. The surprised badger, which Bilbo had caught with a delirious dwarf's hat, then bit his toes, which swelled to ridiculous size. When the bleeding vicious aquatic chicken heard Bilbo's outcry he made sandwiches. Meanwhile, Farmer Maggot feeling refreshed from the smoking of smoldering goblin corpses which gave him superhobbit strength and a wonderful sense of his femininity, finally had time to move his new umbrella. Whereupon, Bilbo, setting out to locate a new spork for cleaning mithril, discovered Merry and Pippin busy digging up the corpse of Santa Claus with a hobbit sword. "Hey!" Bilbo shouted. "Where's Santa's new reindeer deep frier that he lent the Mountain-troll of the french alps?"

"I think it was mauled by an absolutely enormous goblin's pet fish!"

Just then a raging band of flying monkeys descended from the heavens to view the championship polo game, which was becoming rather exciting because Firefoot stepped in and rolled over the third goblin from Eomer's mum's wardrobe which had been trying to calculate it's internal volume.  Eomer grabbed his Tolkien action figure and threw it right at Sam's big hairy hobbit balls of yarn.

"Hey!" Sam yelled. "I was about to knit a new gnu!" Immediately a crippled fish rode by on the back of Arwen's enormously large TIE Fighter. "Turtles have taken over my left sock, but because the sun is in stasis, I must thrust my body through the enormous portal!" Asfaloth announced. So Asfaloth then had no choice...
There are only 10 kinds of people in the world.  Those who know binary and those who don't.
You don't have a backpack. What you have there is an invisible leather TARDIS.

September 04, 2008, 12:51:13 PM
Reply #103

CCCORNIV

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Re: Three-Word Story
« Reply #103 on: September 04, 2008, 12:51:13 PM »
"Hey!" Sam yelled. "I was about to knit a new gnu!" Immediately a crippled fish rode by on the back of Arwen's enormously large TIE Fighter. "Turtles have taken over my left sock, but because the sun is in stasis, I must thrust my body through the enormous portal!" Asfaloth announced. So Asfaloth then had no choice but to thrust...

September 05, 2008, 02:48:38 AM
Reply #104

lem0nhead

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Re: Three-Word Story
« Reply #104 on: September 05, 2008, 02:48:38 AM »
One day, Bilbo the hobbit decided that it was time for a little bit of adventure so he drank an ale.  Suddenly, there was a sound of a nuclear explosion. Bilbo was so sure that he crapped his pants and turned invisible that he leapt over the shrubbery which surrounded his nether regions and proclaimed with a heartfelt squeal that he loved sam. The surprised badger, which Bilbo had caught with a delirious dwarf's hat, then bit his toes, which swelled to ridiculous size. When the bleeding vicious aquatic chicken heard Bilbo's outcry he made sandwiches. Meanwhile, Farmer Maggot feeling refreshed from the smoking of smoldering goblin corpses which gave him superhobbit strength and a wonderful sense of his femininity, finally had time to move his new umbrella. Whereupon, Bilbo, setting out to locate a new spork for cleaning mithril, discovered Merry and Pippin busy digging up the corpse of Santa Claus with a hobbit sword. "Hey!" Bilbo shouted. "Where's Santa's new reindeer deep frier that he lent the Mountain-troll of the french alps?"

"I think it was mauled by an absolutely enormous goblin's pet fish!"

Just then a raging band of flying monkeys descended from the heavens to view the championship polo game, which was becoming rather exciting because Firefoot stepped in and rolled over the third goblin from Eomer's mum's wardrobe which had been trying to calculate it's internal volume.  Eomer grabbed his Tolkien action figure and threw it right at Sam's big hairy hobbit balls of yarn.

"Hey!" Sam yelled. "I was about to knit a new gnu!" Immediately a crippled fish rode by on the back of Arwen's enormously large TIE Fighter. "Turtles have taken over my left sock, but because the sun is in stasis, I must thrust my body through the enormous portal!" Asfaloth announced. So Asfaloth then had no choice but to thrust his big #$&*@!...
 
 
Ban shampoo, demand real poo.
That's like having "Some Who Ride Ponies" as a Rohan follower. ~ Dain Ironfoot.