The REAL Lord of the Rings

[jdizzy001]

Before I waste anyones time, this thread is for entertainment only. It's a conspiriacy theory thread (the kind everyone hates.  So if you don't like LOTR conspiracy theories then DON'T READ THIS THREAD!).  PS-sorry about the caps in the thread's title ket, I know that bothers you.

I laughed to myself as I thought of the real reason Boromir died.  Contrary to popular belief, it was not Lurtz's arrows that slew the mighty warrior.  In fact it was Narsil!  If you remember, Boromir cut his finger on the shards of Narsil while in Rivendel.  This cut festered and became infected which caused an infection.  It spread and killed Boromir.  The proof is in his face during his death scene, he was so pale!  Everyone thinks it was Lurtz's arrows, but when aragorn tries to administer to Boromir, the Gondorian says it is too late.  It's too late cause Narsil's cut already did its job.

After I made this startaling realization I further pondered the leathality of Narsil. Blade of the Faithful my rear-end.  That sword ruined the life of everyone who came in contact with it!  Elendil died, Isildur died, Sauron died, Gil-Galad died and Boromir died.  Heck, gorn only lived another 40 years after he started using the sword, (the only reason he did that is cause Kate Blanchet gave him a magic sheath).  Arwen lost her immortality and DIED then there's Celebring, we don't even know what happened to him!  Elrond only lived cause he ran away to Valinor (we don't know how long it took Elrond to succumb to the sword's taint and perish).

In conclusion, one must ask, who made Narsil?  The dwarves!  It's the dwarves, they were trying to overthrow the goverment of middle earth from the inside out!  Why?  To claim the silmarils for themselves.  I know the silmarils are long gone, but there is no evidence to indicate the dwarves know the silmarils are gone.  According to Elrond, Dwarves spend all their time in caves and care nothing for the troubles of others, thus why would the dwarves know the silmarils are gone.  Those stubby dwarves cursed Narsil and tried to overthrow the first and second born of Endor!

[jdizzy001]

Narsil was forged by Telchar in the great dwarf city Nogrod in the blue mountains (Just north of the grey havens)!  It was the dwarves of the blue mountains, they conspired against the free peoples.  If only sauron had been watching them!  His greastest threat was never men, it was the dwarves!  Always the dwarves.  Just look at them with durin and his possessions, or gimli and his hunter 3!  The card stacking, the discarding, THE EXERTIONS!  The dwarves have always been the real threat to middle earth.  They were always jealous of the elves (i'm not actually sure about that last statement.  Like I said, I'm rereading the Silma so I'll confirm if I find it.)

[Yanko Markovic]

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Well, at least the grammar in this one is better than in Mager's conspiracy-theroy post.

[jdizzy001]

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Well, at least the grammar in this one is better than in Mager's conspiracy-theroy post.

I put a disclaimer at the beginning of the thread, you didn't have to read it.  I'll clarify the disclaimer

[Yanko Markovic]

Nah, don't be offended, it was a fun read, and not all that long to bore me. It kinda reminded me of a LOTR conspiracy theory I read once (though I've only seen it in Spanish) about Sam being a secret spy of Sauron and Gandalf making a big scheme with all this, and Frodo actually carrying a fake magic ring. It was completely insane, but the thing is, it was EXTREMELY well done, as crazy as it sounded, it almost didn't have any proof that it couldn't have happened, so you were almost forced to accept it, since it didn't have many proofs against it. And the only things that made it impossible were little things that not all people notice and the fact that some of it's most fundamental pillars were based in movie parts that didn't happen in the novels.

[jdizzy001]

Haha.  My theory has the same problem.  Especially since Boromir never touches narsil in the books!

[Yanko Markovic]

True! In the one I told you before, the most important moment in which this theory is based is when Gandalf touched the Ring in Bag-End, though that also never happened in the books.

[inzilzor]

i always thought the elves made the narsil.. :0 this is nice info jdizzy001