Need advice on how to cope

[jdizzy001]

Hey Ken, take baby steps. Time heals all wounds. It is going to take time for the feelings to go away. the most important thing you can do is move on. By move on I mean don't hang out with her.

Girls have a strange habit. They feel awkward when people don't like them or are unhappy with them. So, as a result, there are a good number of females who try to maintain "friendships" with ex-boyfriends. Generally speaking it isn't to be malicious but is the way they prove to themselves that their ex is still on good terms with them. Even if you are on "good" terms the best thing to do is stay away. The time away will give your psyche time to process the feelings you have and allow them to subside. As harsh as some of the advice you've received seems, it is true. Go out, have fun, spend some time with your sister. Occupy yourself your time with activites, other than GCCG. Go to a gym, play horseshoes, spend time with other 3D people.

There is nothing you can do about the pain except wait. The only thing that may help subside it is talk about what you're feeling. By talk I mean verbalize (talk don't type) your feelings to a close friend or relative. If you must write something put it down on a sheet of paper. Write out all of your frustrations from words to curses to scribbles to holes in the paper you make with your pen. Once you're done take the piece of paper, rip it to shreds and then burn it. This sounds funny but this method has been proven to be theraputic.

The memories will always be there, and short of amnesia nothing is going to remove the memories. Is this your first girlfriend? If so, you are about to experience some very important personal growth. With that growth you will find new strength which you can embrace and use to move on.

The most important thing you can do right now is stay away from her and verbalize your feelings to a close friend. Good luck, keep your stick on the ice, we're all in this together.

[tristelune]

 I will only add my voice to the crowd, as everything I was going to write has already been written (pretty well) by others. I am sure realizing that your case is not unique at all will help you. We all have been there.
It's funny,  I was going to tell EXACTLY the same thing as Ket about life expectancy being around 80 and your current age only 20... You have a whole life to live "kid" :-)

I see you started the healing process, this is pretty good and you're doing great! Keep that up, take your time, one step at a time. take care of yourself.

[Kenddrick]

OK guys I will. Sometimes my thought wonders to her and I'll miss the times we had but I'll try to think of something else. Going off to bed now.

It's almost 48 hours since I cried. Hope I can become stronger.

[hrcho]

It's almost 48 hours since I cried. Hope I can become stronger.

People who don't cry are not stronger by any means. Crying is good and extremely helpful. If you feel like crying, just let it go, there is nothing wrong about.

[Kenddrick]

I think I've cried enough. No point crying over a different girl. I must must must look forward and move on.

[jdizzy001]

By the way, Crying is good for your eyes. squinting at a computer screen is not . Your thoughts are going to wander to her from time to time. This is completely normal. You were with the girl for 3 years. That means for 1095 days you thought about her habitually. This is going to be a tough habit to break. Just stay productive. Productivity is important. There is a difference between being productive and being busy. Be productive not busy. Check it out, you made it through another day, congrats!

[Kev-La]

Kenddrick, I've been where you're at, and I know how you feel.
The first girl I ever fell in love with, dumped me suddenly after 9 months (to the day), with no explanation. I was absolutely crushed, and spent at least 6 months or more suffering quite severe depression. Nothing has ever hurt me as much as losing that lady's love.
I was 21 at the time.
I'm now 34 and with the 4th girl I've ever fallen in love with. We recently celebrated our first 3 years together, and are happier and happier together all the time.
My point is, although things look bleak now, there is a very good chance that you will find real joy again, and probably even greater than you've experienced already.
Believe in yourself. Believe in happiness. Believe that you can change things if you want to.
Give yourself time. Everything will be all right.

P.S. I recently had a dream that I was back with my first love. It was a happy dream. When I first woke up and realised that it was but a dream, I felt that crushing feeling in my heart. A second later, I realised that I was lying next to a woman who I can only describe as The Love Of My Life. The crushing feeling disappeared and I went back to sleep.
We never forget those we have loved, but we also never know when a new love will find us.

[Kenddrick]

She's seriously psychotic wtf has happened to her? Now she wants to call me and talk to be about stuff with other guys despite not wanting to be together with me? I'm feeling a bit angry about this. Seriously what's her problem?!!

Edit: I'm not even close to crying anymore. Getting used to single life now.

[hrcho]

She's seriously psychotic wtf has happened to her? Now she wants to call me and talk to be about stuff with other guys despite not wanting to be together with me? I'm feeling a bit angry about this. Seriously what's her problem?!!

You need to tell her that. Otherwise you don't have a right to be angry.

[FM]

She's seriously psychotic wtf has happened to her? Now she wants to call me and talk to be about stuff with other guys despite not wanting to be together with me? I'm feeling a bit angry about this. Seriously what's her problem?!!

Edit: I'm not even close to crying anymore. Getting used to single life now.

And, for the 1000000th time, you seriously need to shun her. Told you before on MSN, that is NOT the behavior of someone who actually cares about you and want you by her side, it's just a "girl power" thing ("I don't want him, but I don't want anyone to have him either, so I'll keep him close by, just in case").

[jdizzy001]

it's just a "girl power" thing ("I don't want him, but I don't want anyone to have him either, so I'll keep him close by, just in case").

I second that. It would be best to communicate to her that she needs to move on. It won't be easy, but she can't "hog" you. She'll get upset if you call her out on this, but you should call her out on it. She'll probably throw it back in your face and claim she is trying to be friends, but as we've mentioned, you both need time for past emotions to subside before real genuine civil converstations can take place. Sounds like you both need time away.

[Kenddrick]

I'm not going to be with her given the way she is now.

But I do wonder sometimes where the old her has gone. It makes me feel very very sad when I think of how she used to be.

[Mager]

I know a friend too ,shes anna kenddrick. She is smart. I think your situation is just like mine. I think you will get better. Between, Be tall!

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