Please help me!! What should I reply?

[Kenddrick]

After 1 month and 3 days, she finally initiated contact with me. This is what she said and I'm so terribly confused I dont know what to reply/do. Please help me.

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This, by far, is the most sincere piece I've ever written. It's because this is for you. And to me, you are, still, someone integral in my life. You experienced the best I could've ever been and witness my downfall. Here I am, typing words which possibly cannot suffice, with my head hurting a little from the weight of my thoughts, heart hurting a little because it cannot stay numb for long. I came to an understanding of why hurting someone is never nice, and why we should treat everyone's heart with the utmost care and concern. I learnt that everybody can feel hurt. Your own feelings will get hurt, in far worse ways than what you could possibly imagine. It will be handy then, to learn how to forgive.

This is my apology and I hope you'd forgive me for putting up with my #$&*@!, for the hurtful words I said, for the hurtful things brought unto you.

You don't know that everyday it seems like a struggle for me to get up in the morning. Because of being heart broken, selfish, heartless, stupid, I am no longer a good person as I once was. Today, there was this itch in my skin that nothing is ever going to be right. It seems like everyone might care, but they don't. It's all lies and #$&*@!. I pretend that everything is okay. It isn't. I'm so tired of being like this let alone you made me feel useless.

My friend, I miss you dearly and for the longest time, I contemplated to write you but when I do, circumstances would render me speechless, wordless.

All I really want is to be able to connect with you once again. I'm not gonna allow this friendship to slip through just because of my selfishness. Also, I want to be there for you.

Ah. Just. I don't know. I'm sorry.

[Kenddrick]

  i miss her a lot

[FM]

Well, if you DO forgive her for giving you so much crap, I'd at least reply "I forgive you". And that is it. It'd be a nice gesture, and all, but I'd still keep my distance. Over is over. Move on, let her move on.

[macheteman]

yeah, forgiveness does not always mean going back to how things were before. always forgive. but move on.

[Kralik]

FM nailed it.

[Kenddrick]

We both decided to start again as friends and take one step at a time. God knows how it will turn out. :\

[FM]

Then I suppose I should start my own religion, because I know how. Badly.

[Kenddrick]

She hasn't changed one bit since last time all she said was she missed me and didn't want me to be forever mad with her. What do I do? She's talking to me the same way(post breakup) as though I never left her.
Help!

[FM]

LEAVE, for God's sake. Man up. Suck it up. Toughen up. Any "up" that will get the message across will do, just LEAVE, #$&*@! it.

[FingolfinFinwe]

Kenddrick,

Everyone here seems to be in agreement.  This girl is not worth your time.  We understand that you feel like you love her, but wake up - she is just using you man.  Time to pick up and move on, and you need to break all contact with her for your own good.  Don't let yourself be used and abused.

I don't think you're going to get a different answer, so you don't really need to ask further.

[Kenddrick]

She says she is not using me. She says she wants to reconnect with me as she does not want to lose me, or me not talking to her for the rest of my life. I asked if she was using me and she said she would not have such vile intentions.

I want to leave. I left because I thought that she wouldn't miss me but turned out she did. Now I don't know what to do. My head says leave, and it agrees with everyone here, but my heart says that I should at least care for her.

[Kenddrick]

Ok this is what I told her.

"I still do care for you, a lot. We can still be in contact but that will probably be not as frequent as before. Probably very minimal. I cannot afford frequent contact as it will mess up my head and lead me into the dreaded cycle of hope and despair.

It's not that I hate you and not want to see you. My mind will inevitably recall the old times and I will probably hope for the us to get back together, which is impossible for you. So it is best, for now, that we don't see each other until I am really really over this hurt.

I care for you a lot and we can still keep in touch, just that unless we keep contact to a minimum, I can never talk to you normally. So hopefully some time from now, I will heal and then be able to see you and talk to you and care as I intended to, without wanting to get back together/missing the past."

To which she said "Sure, take all the time and space that you need"

How's that? I figured that would be the best thing to do.

[FM]

It's good enough. Said more than you should, but still good enough. Now L-E-A-V-E!

[macheteman]

It's good enough. Said more than you should, but still good enough. Now L-E-A-V-E!

and go marry a guitar.

[Mythdracon]

What caused you and your gf to split, Kenddrick?

I'd say try to get a friendship with her going MONTHS LATER. For now, just give her a curt reply, and don't say you miss her, or that might make her want to take advantage of you somehow *just playing devil's advocate here*.