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Author Topic: New Element Discovered!  (Read 961 times)

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October 13, 2008, 09:06:38 AM
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SomeRandomDude

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New Element Discovered!
« on: October 13, 2008, 09:06:38 AM »
The Heaviest Element Known to Science


Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science.

The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.


In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of morons promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
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October 13, 2008, 10:26:18 AM
Reply #1

sickofpalantirs

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Re: New Element Discovered!
« Reply #1 on: October 13, 2008, 10:26:18 AM »
lol...not much else to say...
Felipe Musco:
(after all, it's a CHARITY organization, I still have SOME principles, even having gone through Law School... :P),
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October 13, 2008, 11:59:31 AM
Reply #2

AgentDrake

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Re: New Element Discovered!
« Reply #2 on: October 13, 2008, 11:59:31 AM »
Oh.
Wow.

Did you write that?
Forget it. I'm not arguing with the computer anymore to try to get the sig I want....

October 13, 2008, 12:33:32 PM
Reply #3

Elf_Lvr

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Re: New Element Discovered!
« Reply #3 on: October 13, 2008, 12:33:32 PM »
That was epic. And made of win.
Happy Hunting!
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October 13, 2008, 01:28:57 PM
Reply #4

TheJord

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Re: New Element Discovered!
« Reply #4 on: October 13, 2008, 01:28:57 PM »
This is soooooo old! But it is still funny
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October 13, 2008, 03:45:55 PM
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menace64

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Re: New Element Discovered!
« Reply #5 on: October 13, 2008, 03:45:55 PM »
And I thought this was legit... until that very last line. Even then I wasn't sure.

 =D>

October 14, 2008, 10:21:08 AM
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SomeRandomDude

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Re: New Element Discovered!
« Reply #6 on: October 14, 2008, 10:21:08 AM »
Oh.
Wow.

Did you write that?

Nope. I plagiarized it.
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"It was like:
Kralik: "What hath God wrought"
NB: "I dunno, but I'm in ur house eating ur food.""
-Elessar's Socks

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