I'm kind of in a tight spot here...

[FM]

Well, ok, so I've got three MAJOR situations I have to work out. One of them, is that I have ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA of what to do about the other two, so I've been considering posting them here and seeing what you guys thought about them, since as a friend of mine accurately put recently, I just HAVE to talk to SOMEONE about it, and truth is, I have no one I can, for a ton of reasons. So starting with this one, how much fun would you make of me if I actually posted them here?

[Elrohir]

What is the matter? I would make no fun of you...

[AgentDrake]

Depends on what they are. I mean, if you're in a difficult yet objectively ridiculous situation, we might mess around with you a little. But I certainly hope that everyone has the maturity -- or at least the decency -- to not take it too far.

On the other hand, if it's not something ridiculous yet serious (like someone having superglued your finger in your ear while you slept) I don't think anyone would make fun of you. I mean, menace hasn't exactly been the  target of memory jokes. (Least, not that I know of....)

Short version: I expect that you're safe. But that's your call; you know what your situation is, and I don't, so use your best judgment whether or not you should tell us.

[FM]

Oh no, I'm ok, actually. And if someone had superglued my finger to my ear, I'D be the one making jokes! LOL

[SomeRandomDude]

I can't say that EL wouldn't have his revenge, but I wouldn't make fun of ya.

Even if we did, who cares? Water off a duck's back, man.

[FM]

Well, let's start off simple then. I'm not very fond of kids. Never have been. But my mom has a friend with two kids that I actually like, a boy and a girl. THe boy is 8 years old, and he's about to be baptized (his mother decided to let it up to him), and he asked me to be his Godfather. Yeah, I know, I was just as shocked. Seems like the little fella looks up to me for some obscure reason. Bottom line is, I'm all up for the task, but I can't actually take place in the religious ceremony, for a bunch of reasons! What should I do? Turn it down, try to reasond with an 8-year-old, suck it up and participate, against my every beliefe, thus already spoiling the kid by doing whatever he wants no matter the "price", or simply put a crash dummy in my place in the church? (it's not like someone is gonna be paying attention to me anyway...)

[menace64]

That's the wrong view, I think.

This boy's baptism isn't about you, it's about him. It was his choice to go through with it (which I personally agree with) and somewhere along the way he found some good qualities in you and chose you to be his godfather. Ultimately, what you hold to believe (spiritually or otherwise) shouldn't matter since positively supporting another person transcends religion or faith.

I think suffering through a service you don't necessarily consent to is worth reinforcing a morale foundation in a boy's life. I've worked around kids for a long time, and there isn't a word you can say to him that will get him to understand why you would turn him down. Refusing to be his godfather will leave a bad taste between the two of you and you'll have lost a great opportunity to give selflessly to another human being.

[FM]

Problem is I can't take part on the service, lest I go through some course or whatever, which IS a religious counterpart to the stuff catholics do as children and I didn't. THIS is what bothers me the most. Not being there, since I happen to go to a lot of different churches to study and learn and watch and etc. But to take part is a totally different matter. And if this is a "position" that transcends religion, why should I have to do it RELIGIOUSLY? As I said, I'm proud to be his Godfther and even to use the "title".

[DáinIronfoot]

Have you sat down with the lad and/or his parents and discussed this?

And what does this course consist of? If it's just an educational thing, I wouldn't think it would be too bad. I don't think they're going to force you to convert just to be his Godfather....

[SomeRandomDude]

Problem is I can't take part on the service, lest I go through some course or whatever, which IS a religious counterpart to the stuff catholics do as children and I didn't. THIS is what bothers me the most. Not being there, since I happen to go to a lot of different churches to study and learn and watch and etc. But to take part is a totally different matter. And if this is a "position" that transcends religion, why should I have to do it RELIGIOUSLY? As I said, I'm proud to be his Godfther and even to use the "title".

What's wrong with going through the course? At the very least, it should open your mind at all. They're not saying you have to convert to Catholicism.

Or what's wrong with going through the ceremony, does it violate some other personal belief?

[FM]

The "course" is supposed to "make up" for "1st communion" and the other one children take when they're young, which is, yes, "renewing" their Catholic status, which is something I have absolutely no intention of doing. As I said beofre, I believe in God, but the God that created men, not the Gog that men created, so I refuse to have a religion. I take the best that they all have to offer, and try to follow it, yes, but without actually choosing one, and I have absolutely no intention or "renewing" my Catholic status, since if it was up to me, I'd never even have been baptized at all.

[AgentDrake]

Erch. That is tough.

Um. Well, I assume that, in order to be the kid's godfather, you have to be officially Catholic, and to be officially Catholic, you have to be officially reinstated, or whatever. Anyway, first thing I'd do is talk to the kid's parents, and explain to them your situation (I'm assuming that this little discussion isn't out of the question for whatever reason....) If you have to, you can tell the kid that you are honored, and WANT to be his godfather, but because you're not a member of the catholic church, you CAN'T (not that you WONT, that you CANT.)

Um.

I dunno. That's just what pops into my head. Might not work, and it's been a long time since I tried reasoning with an 8 year old, and I have no idea how rational the kid is. Pretty reasonable, I expect, given that you like him.

On the other hand, I mean, like the others have said, you could just "suck it up" and take the course. I mean, it's not like you're being converted in actuality, just in the eyes of the Church, which is not necessarily the same thing.

I mean, heck.... I have Jewish relatives, and while I'm not Jewish, my religion and Judaism are hardly mutually exclusive, so when I'm visiting them, I'm perfectly happy to not only adhere to all the rules about kosher and all that, but to even participate in their... I'm not really sure what to call it. Not 'rituals,' that sounds too cultish. But you know what I mean. I'm not Jewish, but I don't have a problem with participating in Jewish stuff. NOt because I think its necessarily right, but because I don't think its wrong.
Your call, of course. I mean, it depends on what exactly this course consists of. If you have to stand up and swear your soul to the Catholic Church, that's different than sitting in a pew through a few extra masses dedicated to renewing your official membership.

[sickofpalantirs]

hmm tough situation...assuming you do have to be catholic to be his Godfather that kinda kills that...

really others have said what can be said.  I have a little brother who is close to 8 and I can tell you, he will not be easily convinced. Definitely go to his parents.

[Gate Troll]

That is kinda tough. Do you 'have' to convert to be his Godfather? Or is it just a preference?
I'd probably try researching it and see if it is an official 'law' of the church that you have to convert.
If it is I'd go to his parents and explain that it violates your personal beliefs. Just my two cents.

[FM]

Thanks guys, I guess you're right, I'll try talking with his mother and see what comes out of it.