Never-Ending Parody DC Chain!

[DáinIronfoot]

Rock, Paper, Scissors
Event • Whenever the heck you feel like
Challenge your opponent to a rousing game of rock, paper, scissors.
If you win, and you picked "rock", grab one and bash your opponent's deck X times.
If you win, and you picked "paper", scribble on X random cards like you did in preschool.
If you win, and you picked "scissors", take X random cards and a pair of scissors and...well, I bet you can figure that one out.
If you lose, distract your opponent and take this event back into hand. They won't suspect a thing, I promise!
Gollum figured if he couldn't win at riddles, he was going to beat Bilbo SOMEHOW, by golly.

[AgentDrake]

Scissors, Deadly Weapons
Possession - Hand Weapon
Str +3
Each time bearer wins a skirmish against a minion card, you may cut up that card.
Chop, chop!

[Kralik]

Running with Scissors
Condition
To play, exert a Wizard. Plays on a companion bearing Scissors. Bearer is placed on timeout (bearer cannot be assigned to a skirmish). At the start of the regroup phase, the Free Peoples player may wound bearer twice and discard Scissors to discard this condition.
Stop playing with that -- you're going to poke somebody's eye out!

[AgentDrake]

Timeout
Event - Response
If your opponent does something unexpected, make him wait forever while you figure out what to do about it.
"Well? Do you pass?" "I'M STILL THINKING!!!"

[BullroarerIoG]

something unexpected

Event  skirmish

Take all minoins in play into hand and then imedeiately play them against your opponet's fellowship.

[Anvar]

•The Orcish Inquisition
Minion • Orc
Strength: 8
Vitality: 3
Site: 4
When you play this minion, each player returns 2 cards at random from their discard pile to their hand. Then each player discards 2 cards at random.
"Nobody expects the Orcish Inquisition - our chief weapon is surprise... surprise and fear... Our 2 main weapons are fear, and surprise, and ruthless efficiency... Amongst our weaponry, are such diverse elements as fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency and..."

[AgentDrake]

Inquisition
Condition - Support Area
Each time your opponent does something, you may exert a minion to question that action.
Regroup: Exert a minion twice to tie your opponent to a stake and burn him or her.
"'HERETIC!!!'"

[Gate Troll]

The Shire Inquisition
Condition • Support Area
To play spot X inquisitors. Each time a hobbit exerts, moves, breathes
or scratches a body part you may add and exhaust that hobbit.
"You moved a nanometer to the left! String 'im up!"

[leokula]

•Inquisitor Grand-Master
Minion • Man
Strength: 14
Vitality: 4
Site: 2
When you play this minion at a dwelling site, count the number of hobbits in that site's picture. Wound as many hobbit companions as you counted in that picture. Damage +2 while at Hobbiton Market.
"This place is full of nasty hobbits... I'll kill all of them!"

[sickofpalantirs]

we had a rock paper scissors on last one too:

Piece of wall
Condition • Support area
fortification
To play spot knight.  If you can spot a catapult you may discard this card to take out a minion with 14 strength or less...and when I say take out, I mean take out. just FLATTEN this minion...of course its already a card, but who cares? smash it with a hammer, the point is, that minion is now an panorc.
rock...or big piece of wall? phase action....or no phase action?

[leokula]

Argh!
Event • Response
If a piece of wall is about to take out Gothmog, he sidesteps and the rock misses him by an inch.
Gothmog was an A student in physics.

[Thranduil]

•Gandalf's Staff, Men in Suits
Artifact • Staff
Vit: +1
Bearer must be Gandalf.
Response: If a Shadow card is played with a twilight cost of X, add X burdens (minimum 1) and discard this card to place that card in the discard pile.
The lawyers under Gandalf's employ were experts at side-stepping minor legal issues, for example: killing endangered Balrogs, libel of Sauron and his followers and usurping the throne of Gondor.

[Gate Troll]

Saruman's Staff, Men in Tights
Artifact • Staff
Strength: +1
Bearer must be Saruman. He may ignore those pesky things called 'rules'.
Saruman's group of dastardly anti-heroes beat up any lawyer they could spot

[FM]

Tight Spot
Event • Response
If you have nothing else to do but flat out lose, distract your opponent, gather your cards and go home, leaving this card on the table.
"Hum... ok, let's call it a tie" "But I just won!" "Nope, it's a tie." "But I w..." "IT'S A TIE!"

[MR. Lurtzy]

Gimli's Beard
Forest.
If you are about to lose the game, move to this site. Your opponent can no longer see your fellowship and loses.