Never-Ending Parody DC Chain!

[JamesCB]

"Of course not, you couldn't bear an onion ring to Mordor."

*ROFL* The One Ring, The Onion Ring.

The One Ring, The Onion Ring
Strength +0
Vitality +0
Resistance +0
Hunger -1
Bearer must be a character that has eaten at a fast food restaurant.
Game Text: At the start of each skirmish involving the Ring-bearer, make him hunger -2 until the end of the turn.

Explanation: Hunger is a loaded keyword (that I just made up) that means while you are skirmishing a character without the hunger keyword, you are strength -X, where X is your hunger. It can go negative, meaning if your hunger was equal to -2, you would be strength +2

[Durin's Heir]

Raciiiiiiiiiist!
Event • Response
If your minion is about to lose an argument a skirmish, spot a newspaper condition to cancel that skirmish.
You may draw a card for each race you can spot in the fellowship over 1.

[Not a Zombie]

Sexist!
Event • Maneuver
If you cannot spot a female free peoples character, spot Shelob to exert every character.
"We could let Her do it"

Shelob was the only female baddy I could think of 

[Phallen Cassidy]

Genderfluid
Condition
Plays on an Elf. Bearer may be spotted for any gender.
"Enough about Dwarf women... Where are the Elf men?"

[Durin's Heir]

Sexist!

Shelob was the only female baddy I could think of 

Haha, awesome!   Evil females are very scarce (in Tolkien's work). There's also Lobelia Sackville-baggins if that counts, but she was only a disposable low-ranked she-villain...

...here's another one:

How Dare You!
Condition • Support Area
Weather.
To play, spot a roaming autistic schoolkid (or exert your NGO).
Each time a(nother) player adds any number of twilight tokens to the twilight pool, that player must discard the top card of his or her draw deck.
Shadow: Remove a token from your machine or engine to add .
"'Build back better, blah, blah, blah.'"

Genderfluid
Condition
Plays on an Elf. Bearer may be spotted for any gender.
"Enough about Dwarf women... Where are the Elf men?"

Man, my keyboard is happy that I finished my coffee before reading your post. I love it!

[Durin's Heir]

  Silverlode Fractional Reserve Banks
Maneuver: Discard the top card of your draw deck and remove 1 culture token from your card to reinforce 2 culture tokens.


Now you know how the Elves can afford to spend all day singing, reading and playing harp!

[Not a Zombie]

•Long Term Deposit
Condition • Support Area
To play, spot a Dwarf
Regroup: Stack the top 5 cards from your opponents discard pile on this card. Limit once per game.
Response: If you win the game, all cards stacked here now belong to you.
"We're making a long term deposit."

[Durin's Heir]

An unapologetic version of Twisted Tales, I love it!

Debt They Cried
Event • Maneuver
Spot a Central Bank to make all players draw 3 cards. Any Shadow player may make all players draw 3 cards and if so, you may make all players draw 3 cards; repeat this until no player draws a card.
"'Print, print to ruin and the world's ending!'"

[Not a Zombie]

The Cost of Travel
Event • Regroup
If the twilight number of the next site on the adventure path is 6 or greater,
discard your hand to prevent the fellowship from moving again this turn.
The mark of the beast is $6.66/gal gas

For movie block of course

[Orophoin]

Taking the Long Way Round
Event • Fellowship
To play spot a dwarf and exert a Wizard. For the rest of the game, add one to the fellowship's current site number.  Each shadow player may play any number of minions from their draw deck in their next shadow phase.
"Yeah Gimli, let's go through the goblin infested mine. What could possibly go wrong?"

(Petrol is £1.87 a litre over here. That works out at over $10 a gallon)

[Not a Zombie]

Taking the Long Way Round
Event • Fellowship
To play spot a dwarf and exert a Wizard. For the rest of the game, add one to the fellowship's current site number.  Each shadow player may play any number of minions from their draw deck in their next shadow phase.
"Yeah Gimli, let's go through the goblin infested mine. What could possibly go wrong?"

Great card! I would legitimately love to make a deck around this and see if it would work.

(Petrol is £1.87 a litre over here. That works out at over $10 a gallon)

Oof. Brutal, sorry brother. Just crossed $5/gal here

Blackouts, Destruction, and Death
Event • Shadow
Spot a crow minion to skip the archery phase.
Spot 2 crow minions to discard a condition.
Spot 3 crow minions to wound and ally twice.
"That means blackouts, destruction, and death. Just look at the headlines"
~Gov. Jay Inslee

[Durin's Heir]

•Hunter's Pipe
Possession • Pipe
Bearer must be Hunter.
Shadow: Discard a pipeweed (or parmesan cheese) possession and spot X other pipes to add X million culture tokens to a bank account that already has a culture token on it. (Then, transfer 10% to the Big Guy.)

[Durin's Heir]

Fat Metaverse Neckbeard
Condition
Plays from your hand on a companion skirmishing a Wraith or a Nazgûl.
Bearer cannot exert or be assigned to a skirmish, and loses all game text.
Each time the fellowship moves, the Free Peoples player must exert 2 other companions or add .
"'Join the Metaverse!'"

[Not a Zombie]

Rings of Power Spoilers for episode 6 I think. You have been warned. This image would go with it https://www.denofgeek.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/the-rings-of-power-theo-sword.jpg?resize=768%2C432

•The Macguffin 
Artifact • Hand Weapon (Key Blade)
May be played as a Fellowship or Shadow card on either a Man or an Orc.
Skirmish: Exert bearer to make him strength +1
Regroup: Exert bearer and discard The Macguffin to play the next 2 sites and discard your hand.
"If we make it look like a sword and talk really vaguely about it people won't know that its basically the Sith Wayfinder of the second age"
~RoP writers, probably

[Durin's Heir]

•This Cannot Be Borne!
Condition
Strength +1
Plays on a unique Dwarf.
For each Dwarf in your dead pile, each Dwarf is strength +1 and damage +1.
When you play this condition, discard it.
"...when he had wept and torn his beard he fell silent. Seven days he sat and said no word. Then he stood up and said: 'This cannot be borne!'"