Write a story about your deck

[Kralik]

Thanks max1981!

Almost done with mine... it's just taking a while.

[Kralik]

A Meeting for Durin's Secret Society has been called. Meet Beneath the Mountains, next to Balin's Tomb. Don't forget the refreshments!

So the sign posted in the shire countryside had said. Sam, Son of Hamfast, wondered why they even bothered to attend this time. It is not as if anything actually got accomplished, and it was a ridiculous way to walk... Sigh. Frodo had insisted, and who was he to argue with Frodo, Mr. High-and-Mighty Master of the Precious? Sometimes he felt like all of the talk about this silly ring was getting to Frodo's head.

Earlier...
Council: You must throw the ring into the crack of Mount Doom!
Frodo: You can pry it from my cold, dead fingers! Hssssss.....
Sam: Let's go back to the Shire, Mr. Frodo.
Frodo: My.... precious.... I wants it, I wants it!

Sheesh. What a bunch of rubbish. And Frodo and Sam had only just made it back before having to set off again. Merry and Pippin, unfortunately, had to be given over to the Nazgul to ensure the safety of The Precious. They were annoying anyway.

Sam: Are you there, Master Frodo?
Invisible Voice: Yesssssss....
Sam: OK, just checkin'.

Many long days later, in Balin's Tomb...
Voice One: We're here!
Voice Two: Took you long enough. Where have you been?!
Voice One: It's a long way for us to come, you know. And about time for supper, too. Nothing for us to eat but Bill the Pony, and he wasn't even that tasty.
Voice Three: Yuck.
Voice Two: Well, any idea on when this meeting is going to start?
Voice One: I suppose when more people arrive.
Voice Four: We've been waiting here for weeks! There's only so much to do here in the dark.
Voice Three: Yeah, Balin's bones are entertaining, but only for so long.
Voice Four: Plus, we're all out of Orc flesh and getting hungry!
Voice One: Yuck.

(blinding flash of light)
All: Ooooooh!

Gandalf, Greyhame: I have arrived, on time as usual. Let the meeting begin! Who's here?
(All survey the room. There are a variety of people present.)
Gandalf: Legolas, did you bring the food?
Legolas: Here's what I've got (hands Gandalf some lembas, wrapped in a greenleaf).
Gimli: Ugh, lembas again?! Really, Legolas, you've got to do better than that bland stuff.
Legolas: There's no help for it -- it's all the food I have!
Gimli: Yes, but it tastes like--
Gandalf: Dear friends, let us not argue over such trifles. Who brought the drinks?
Gimli: Errrr...
Sam: Ummm...
Voice: Hisss...
Gandalf: Hmm. Never mind then. Well, first order of business (surveying the small crowd). The Council of Elrond decided that the One Ring, Answer to All Riddles can be left with Frodo so as not to inconvenience him in any manner. This decision guarantees that certain doom will befall all of Middle Earth. All in favor, say "Aye."

(chorus of "Aye's!")
(start of a "Noo..." followed by a thump).
Gimli (looking at the unconscious body of Filibert Bolger): Ahem.

Gandalf: Durin, please record the Society's decision in the minutes. Wait a second -- where IS Durin?
Legolas: That fat old codger is always late!
Gimli: Ssssh, don't say that! If he comes in and hears you, he will whip all of our hides!
Legolas: Ha! That windbag is constantly threatening, but never follows through.

Meanwhile...
Dunlending Renegade: Tell us where you hid yerr gold, stupid dwarf, or I'll break your kneecaps with this war club!
Durin III, Dwarven Lord (tied to a tree): You just try it! My kneecaps are made out of mithril and the shock wave from trying to break them would give you a heart attack!
Dunlending Rampager (brandishing an iron axe): Now look 'ere, fatty. If you don't tell us where the joowels are, I'll--
Durin: I'LL shove that axe right up your--
Strange Voice: Wild Men of the Hills!
Dunlending Men: Eh? Who's that?
Mumak Chieftain (coming out into the open): I have a plan that will be sure to make this dwarf talk. We'll tie his arms and legs to two mumakil, stretch him out, and then...
Dunlending Renegade: Rip him in half?
Mumak Chieftain: No... THEN we bring out the SPIDERS!
(The Southron motions to a horde of giant spiders led by none other than Shelob, Last Child of Ungoliant).
Durin (gibbering): Wait, wait, let's be reasonable here.
Dunlending Rampager: Awww, is the poor liddle dwarfie afraid?
Durin: NO, of course not! I am a FEARED AXEMAN! But at least you could give me a last request?
Mumak Chieftain: Granted.
Durin: Don't let me die without a fight. Give me back my Book of Mazarbul.
Mumak Chieftain: You want a... book?
Durin: It greatly encourages me. Also, my belt... my belt of erebor?
Dunlending Renegade: Fine, you can have your belt. Now die, dwarf scum!
Durin: But wait! Also, if you would pass me my dwarven armor, those dwarven bracers, a hand axe, a...

Back in Balin's Tomb...
Gandalf: Has anyone seen Aragorn?
Gimli: No, just Aragorn's Bow sitting over there in the corner.
Legolas: I wish I had brought my Aiglos.
Sam: You wear MAKEUP?!

*BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM*

All: What's that?

*BOOM* BADA*BOOOOM* *BOOM*

(Drums continue in a crescendo until they sound like a constant roll of thunder)

*BOOOMBOOMBOOMBOOOMBOOMBOOMBOOOOOOM!*

*BOOM*

(silence)

(Then... a solitary goblin steps out of the shadows bearing a crude goblet, filled with a steaming liquid)
Legolas: Ah, at last, something to drink! No thanks to YOU, Gimli.
Gandalf: Legolas, I'd be careful... it may be a trap.
Legolas: You worry too much, old man. Ah, it smells just like the tea my mum used to make out of evil-smelling fens. Smelled terrible, tasted wonderful! Out of my way!
(Legolas steps up to the goblin and seizes the goblet, downing the liquid)
Legolas: It's so... so... (eyes rolling up into his head)

(Legolas crumples on the ground).

Sam: That vile, plotting deceiver!
Gandalf (looking at Legolas): Poor creature. Well, at least he had it coming to him. Harrrrumph! Lembas, indeed. I suppose there's nothing more to do than to find someone to take his place in the Society! Frodo, could you please toss the body down that shaft over there?
Voice: Yessssss.
Gandalf: What's your name, goblin?
Goblin: Dorf.
Gandalf: All in favor of making Dorf a new member of the Society, say "Aye."

(chorus of "Aye's!")
(start of a "Noo..." followed by a thump).
Gandalf (looking at the unconscious body of Sam): Ahem.
Gimli: Well, at least he's better than that blasted elf...

Meanwhile...
Durin: ...and Arod, and my trusted weapon, and an elven cloak, and my ring of artifice, and an elven brooch, and...
Mumak Chieftain: Zzzzzzzzzzz....
Durin: ...oh, and perhaps we could do this at the Fords of Isen? I've always liked the--
Voice: Duuuuuuuurin!
Chieftain and Dunlending Men: Wha-?
Voice: I'm here to saaaaaave you!

Aragorn, Ranger of the North (Appears from nowhere and runs to Durin's side. After having severed his bonds, he shouts): Save yourself! Yaaaaaaaaaah!

(Aragorn runs headlong into the spider and Mumakil horde).

Durin: Hmm. He had so much to live for. Kids these days... And now how am I going to get back to the mountains without a Pathfinder?

Back in Balin's Tomb...
Hobbit party guest: I suggest that we decide how to deal with the threat of the ring.
Gandalf: What do you propose?
Hobbit party guest: Why not just give the ring back to Sauron? Perhaps the old villain has had a change of heart and is really a nice guy after all!
Gandalf (deep in thought): Hmmm... how about... NO.
Hobbit (suddenly with a light in his mind): I think that YOU are captured by the ring... under its spell. You want it for yourself!
Gandalf: You are not the first halfling who has said that. Look what happened to the other one! (pointing at Sam) You'd best watch yourself.
Hobbit: I'll be careful.
Gandalf: You'll be DEAD! Arrr!

(Suddenly, a vile wind blows everyone off their feet).
Sauron, The Lord of the Rings: Sorry I'm late, boys. What did I miss?
Hobbit: Gandalf was just about to attack Frodo to--oww! (rubbing his head)
Gandalf: Not much old friend. We planned this whole meeting as a farce to get Frodo to come with the Ring.
Gimli: Just so long as you can find him. Oh Frodo, where are you hiding?
Sauron: No trouble at all (lunges into a corner of the room and grabs something).
Voice: Ack, help help!
Sauron: Surrender the ring and face a painful death!
Voice: Don't you mean, "or" face a painful death?
Sauron: Gaah, don't bother me with trivialities (strangles Frodo).
Gandalf: Phew, I'm glad THAT mess is over. And allow me to wish you a happy birthday, Sauron. Please accept the Ring as a belated birthday present. How old are you anyway?
Sauron: *cough* I'd rather not say.
Gandalf: Fair enough.

(some footsteps are heard in the hallway. Eowyn, Lady of Ithilien enters the tomb bringing a tray with fresh muffins and spiced cider).

Eowyn: I've slaved all day and night for weeks making preparations for this meeting. Figured that nobody would remember to bring good food.
Crowd: Foooooood! (rushing at Eowyn)
Sauron: Let her deal with them. Come Gandy, let's get out of here.
Gandy: I heartily agree. But... OH! What in the world could THAT be?!
Sauron (spinning around): What? Where? I don't see anything...
Gandy (slyly removing the ring from Sauron's outstretched hand): Huh... I could have sworn I saw something. Well, no matter. Let's be off.

And so Gandalf and Sauron left while the rest of the crowd ate their fill of muffins and slaked thirsts on cider. It was a bit tricky in the dark, but they managed to have a good time and declared it a successful meeting. See you all next time!

Sam (waking up in the darkness): Uhhhh...

THE END
(Deck link)

[max1981]

Good story Kralik

[Gil-Estel]

You have too much time Kralik, way too much ;-)

[Sam, Great Elf Warrior]

Wow, I did not see that ending coming. Have you ever considered getting published?

[Kralik]

Cheers.
-wtk

Wow, I did not see that ending coming. Have you ever considered getting published?

Throws me off every time too!

[Gil-Estel]

Wow, I did not see that ending coming. Have you ever considered getting published?

mhaw....he should invest in his plot...it is all over the place.

[Kralik]

mhaw....he should invest in his plot...it is all over the place.

Intentionally ridiculous.

[Sam, Great Elf Warrior]

Here's the Wraiths/Southrons deck I use in modified-Movie casual with my friends:

Ten years after the destruction of Isildur's Bane, Elessar's Edict reinstituted the ancient custom of the Pan-human Olympics. In memory of the many men whose lives had been lost when the foes of Mordor were forced to fight their fellow man, the games were hosted by Dagorlad. The Desert Lord of Harad agreed to send a group of athletes, and the Hope of Free Peoples everywhere was on the former King in Exile to display the prowess he had shown back in the days when Anduril itself was nothing but the Shards of Narsil. Such a rivalry brought viewers from as far as the Ettenmoors; the City Gates were bursting and the Cross Roads jammed with all of the traffic coming to see the games. Even elves from beyond the sea withdrew all their money from the Silverlode banks to journey to the games in ships of great draught.

The audience stood with bated breath as the Flame of the West was brought in followed by the Olympic Banner of Westernesse. Then the Gondorian athletes arrived under the Banner of the White Tree. The pre-game show was a sight to behold: the Prancing Pony from Rohan was a beautiful sight as was the lights show with a flashing spectral sword, but perhaps most memorable was the trained Mumak brought by the Mumak Chieftain of the south. Then, as the janitors swept away the debris, Aragorn rose, and solemnly recited the Saga of Elendil, which told how the Numenorians first came to this hallowed battleground. This may not have been the most culturally sensitive choice, as it provoked a red wrath among those Haradhrim who themselves were former Southron Invaders, but the disruption was soon quelled by the Southron Commander. Aragorn raised his hand, and at his command, the Games began.

In the archery competition, Aragorn successfully bested the raider bow. The southron weightlifter was mighty, but new strength came now to Aragorn, enabling him to wear the crown of athelas. Later, the desert spearman horribly overthrew his raider halberd, but the swordarm of the white tower proved to be even stronger and more terrible, giving the Swerting the win. Then, in the octathelon, the great southron wanderer proved to be the bane of the eight legs. The dagger throw was canceled due to the ongoing Dwarven Craftsman's Union's dagger strike. Thus, the victor of the Games would be decided in the Rhovanian Rugby match at the newly-built Field of the Fallen.

At the start of the match, the Minas Tirith first circle charged against the Southrons. With a whirling strike, a desert soldier stole the ball from the Gondorians. "Yours is the mithril mine is the gold," the Southron Leader taunted. Suddenly, both sides paused as a pale shape rose from the field.
"Hey, quiet down up there!" yawned the sleepless dead, "You're making enough noise to wake the…"
"Who are you?" interrupted Aragorn.
"I am the king of the dead who fell in these marshes," the ghost replied.
"The field where you now dwell is Gondorian territory," Aragorn replied, "I shall draft you for the Gondorian rugby squad, for your ethereal form will allow you to easily pass through the Southron line of defense."
"You can't do that!" the Swerting objected, "In ages past, he was caught violating his oath of fair play by using performance-enhancing enchantments. You can't enter an oathbreaker! He was banned from the Games for life!"
This was a hard choice for Aragorn, but he soon discovered a loophole.
"True, he was banned from the Games for life," replied Aragorn, "But as you can see, his life is long over. Therefore his punishment expired when he did."
Needless to say, the shade enabled the Gondorians to easily win the match, and there was much rejoicing in Gondor. The ghost, meanwhile, joined his brethren in the Dimholt, where he long regaled them with tales of his prowess at the first Pan-human Olympic Games.

[legolas3333]

 

[sharkey]

How about this for a story...

My /[Moria] deck contains these cards:

Starting:
Frodo, Old Bilbo's Heir
The One Ring, Such a Weight to Carry
Gimli, Feared Axeman
Sindri, Dwarven Lord

Free Peoples (37):
Durin III, Dwarven Lord x2
Linnar, Dwarven Lord x2
Aragorn, Ranger of the North
Faramir, Son of Denethor
Sam, Son of Hamfast

Grimir, Dwarven Elder
Bounder

Sting, Bane of the Eight Legs
Gimli's Battle Axe, Trusted Weapon
Axe of Erebor x2
Dwarven Axe x2
Ring of Fury x2
Ring of Guile
Ring of Accretion

Dwarven Heart x2
Ever My Heart Rises
Preparations x2

Slaked Thirsts x3
Battle Tested x3
Rest By Blind Night x3
Blood Runs Chill x2

Shadow (37):
Ulaire Enquea, Lieutenant of Morgul x2
The Balrog, Terror of Flame and Shadow x3
Host of Moria, Legion of the Underdeeps x2
Guard Commander x2
Goblin Runner x4
Goblin Sneak x4
Goblin Scavengers x4
Goblin Scrabbler x3

Goblin Scimitar x4

Goblin Armory x4
Goblin Swarms x3
They Are Coming x2

Sitepath:
Dunharrow Plateau
Rohirrim Camp
Hall of the Kings
Anduin Banks*
Steward's Tomb*
Minas Tirith First Circle
Osgiliath Crossing
Morgulduin
Haunted Pass

Cheers.
-wtk

Best so far.

[legolas3333]

if someone could write one in poem form, that would be cool...